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I'd like to tell you a story...It's a story that you might find
strangely familiar. Don't be alarmed. Once upon a time, there was a man who was
very attracted to a particular woman. At first, she was just another attractive
woman... but the more he got to know her, the more he began to feel attracted to
her... and the more time he spent with her, the more that attraction grew into a
deep emotional attachment and affection for her.
But there was one problem. As the guy’s emotional attachment grew stronger and
stronger, he also grew more and more insecure. Why? Because he couldn't tell
whether or not the girl the same way towards him.
Sometimes she would say things like "You are so important to me" and "I'm glad
that you're in my life"... but nothing ever progressed past the "friendship"
stage.
There was an occasional hug, an occasional kiss on the cheek from her... and
once she even held his hand for a long time while he talked about an emotional
issue.
But something was wrong with the picture. She just wasn't acting like a woman
that was "falling in love". She was acting like a friend. The insecurity that he
felt became a spiral that amplified itself... and the more insecure he became,
the more afraid he grew of "screwing things up" by kissing her or asking her to
be his girlfriend. Plus, the more insecure he became, the less time she seemed
to want to spend with him.
After spending many days and nights obsessing over this girl, the man finally
arrived at the conclusion that if she only knew how HE FELT, that she would feel
the same way. So he made a bold move. He TOLD HER how he felt. (And of
course, he did this without EVER Seeking any dating
tips that would tell him to staple his mouth shut wit an industrial staple
gun.)
He confessed that he was in love, and that he would do anything to be with her.
She looked at him with compassion in her eyes and said "Thank you... I really
mean that... but I don't want to mess up our friendship... you're too important
to me...". This only confused the man more. He didn't know how to take it... Did
it mean that she really loved him too, but that she was afraid of something?
Did it mean that she wasn't ready for a long-term relationship? Did it mean that
she didn't love him, but that she was trying to give him a hint? Did it mean
that he hadn't tried hard enough? Did it mean that he needed to put everything
on the line and REALLY let her know how he felt? He finally decided that he
couldn't go on like this anymore... he had to be with her. He had to make sure
that she knew just how much he wanted to be with her... so he took a big step,
bought her a symbolic gift, and wrote her a long, long letter... again
confessing his feelings.
And then the unthinkable happened. She didn't reply. He called her three times a
day for almost a week before reaching her. She made an excuse about being very
busy, and said "I'll try to give you a call soon, I have to go"... and hung
up...but he never got a call back. Over the following months, the man tried
desperately to understand what went wrong... and what happened.
THE END
That story is basically a MYTH. And I'm not talking about FICTION here. I'm
talking about a story that rings true for a great majority of men. A story that
is timeless. A story that resonates at a deep level because you can IDENTIFY
with it. And why does this particular story resonate for most men?
Because we've all been there in one way or another... at one time or another...
and many of us have been there OFTEN in our lives. Another thing that gives this
particular story a lot of power is the powerful negative emotions that it
stirs... as a result of the powerful negative experiences that it reminds us
of...
In this particular situation I think there is a solution. And it lies in
understanding a secret that women know but MEN DON'T. And that secret comes down
to the reality that if a woman isn't ATTRACTED to a man, all of his attempts to
confess his love, convince her to like him, and court her BACKFIRE.
It sucks. And I hope that by explaining the process of how this happens to you
I'll help you avoid this painful situation in your own future...
THE "INSTANT EWWW"
I'm always fascinated by the idea that we humans don't always understand the
message that we're communicating to others...So often we think that because we
WANT to communicate a message that others are going to NATURALLY understand what
we're trying to say. If you do something to "let a woman know how you feel"...
but she isn't ATTRACTED to you, then it's going to backfire.
It's going to trigger a feeling that like to call the "Instant Ewww".
The Instant Ewww is just as powerful as the physical and emotional response of
ATTRACTION. Once a woman feels it, YOU'RE DONE. It's over. It's like hammering a
RAILROAD SPIKE into the coffin.
So what causes the Instant Ewww?
And why would a woman feel it towards a man who was trying to be nice... a guy
who was giving her a gift or telling her how he feels? Because if you think
about it from HER perspective, you'll realize that the moment you do something
to "confess", you have created a TURNING POINT in the relationship. Up until
that point, you were harmless. I mean, women always know how men feel. She
already knew you wanted her. She knew it from the beginning. But now that you've
started pursuing her and talking about how you feel, you've created a
NEGATIVE TENSION that is VERY uncomfortable.
You've triggered an emotion that is repulsive to women. And it does repel them.
In summary...
You can't "make a woman like you" or "change how she feels about you" by doing
nice things for her...Doing "nice" things for a woman who isn't attracted to you
HURTS you. It backfires. Worse, it creates the "Instant Ewww" feeling that makes
it so she'll NEVER like you. Men make this mistake over and over again in life
because they're doing what MAKES SENSE to them. They're doing it because they
don't have an understanding of ATTRACTION.
I mean, If you have a friend, and you like them, and you want to make them like
you more... and you do some nice thing for them, they will probably like you
more.
On the other hand...
If you have a woman that you "like" in a romantic way, and she doesn't "feel it"
for you, and you do something nice for her because you want HER to like you
more, it will BACKFIRE... and she will not only NOT like you more, she will most
likely distance herself from you.
Guys think that they need to communicate when they like a woman... as if that's
part of the necessary process of getting a girl.
In their minds, it goes like this:
Like her>Tell her you like her>She likes you
Well remember... if you follow this pattern yourself with women who aren't
ATTRACTED to you, then it's going to BACKFIRE.
If she's not into you, then it goes like THIS:
She thinks of you as a friend>You tell her you like her>She gets the "Instant
Ewwws" and never wants to be around you again...
THE ANSWER
There are really TWO answers to this problem.
The first answer is what to do if you're in a situation where you like a
particular girl, but you don't know if she likes you back.
DON'T GET HEAVY WITH HER.
Don't buy her a big gift and write a love letter... Don't send her ten dozen
roses to her work with a not that says "From your secret admirer". Don't call
her three times a day. And DON'T CONFESS YOUR LOVE for her. If you want to know
how she feels about you, KISS HER (and use "The Kiss Test" that you learned on
my website and in my book). Don’t beg her with your Body Language either!
As a rule of thumb, don't get heavier than HER. Use SIGNALS from her to find out
how she feels... and if you don't know how to read and create those signals,
then LEARN.
Asking a woman if she's interested in your in a romantic way, or if you are "her
type" will actually DESTROY the chances that she'll like you.
Really.
The SECOND answer is to not get into this particular situation in the FIRST
PLACE. Avoid it entirely.
And how does one do that? One does that by creating ATTRACTION from
the beginning. One does that by understanding the dynamics of how and why women
have the physical and emotional response of ATTRACTION triggered.
One does that by knowing what you're doing FROM THE BEGINNING. And what's the
best way to learn THAT skill?
I thought you'd never ask...
The very best way to learn how to make women feel ATTRACTION for you is to get
yourself a copy of my eBook, Double Your Dating.
I've spent several years now studying the ways that men who are "naturals"
communicate using their words, voice tone, and body language that makes them
MAGNETIC to women. And I'll tell you... it's not magic. You don't have to be
rich, handsome, or young. And you don't have to be LUCKY. What you DO have to do
is LEARN.
It's a skill, and I honestly believe that ANY man can learn it if he wants. But
you're not likely to figure it out by "trial and error". Many of the keys to
making
women feel ATTRACTION aren't "obvious" at all. In fact, many of them make no
sense... and they're the LAST thing you'd do in a particular situation if you
didn't know the SECRETS.
I'm telling you, this book will show you the way. I guarantee that this program
will INSTANTLY change how you behave around women. And it will start getting you
results IMMEDIATELY.
If you'd like to take your success with women and dating to the next level, and
have the kind of success that you've always wanted, then go sign up for my free
newsletter, get all the details, and check out some great free samples of the
eBook located here:
• Free Dating Tips
Newsletter And Download eBook •
And I'll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David DeAngelo
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Dating tips for Men by David Deangelo and Others
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