Dating Tips for Guys

What The Alpha Male IS and IS NOT

Many people have a misconception about being an Alpha Male and what that means. They seem to think is means being a jack-ass like Biff in Back to the Future. That is not at all what being the alpha male is about. Let me explain.

What being the "Alpha" means is simply being the dominant male (or even the female) in a group. The Alpha Dog or Alpha Leader is the one that is most likely to get the mate - in other words, Darwin created this, not me. (Remember, the survival of the fittest?)

Thinking about it from a Darwinian perspective - it makes SENSE to want to be the alpha male. If you cannot create mini-me's at some point in your life, then your genetic line goes extinct!

So, do you think you deserve to have your genetic legacy carried on into the next generation? I hope so. And more importantly, I hope you believe so as well.

So now, you know the basics on what an alpha male is and is not. Here are some words to describe the alpha male:

Intelligent
Motivated
Eager
Honorable
Dominant (not cruel, but demonstrating superior social skills)
Unwavering
Healthy (fit lifestyle)
Curious
Balanced
Natural

Here are a few things an Alpha is NOT:

Mean
Angry at women
Verbally, Physically, Emotionally or any other kind of abusive
Egotistical
Rude

There seems to be some confusion (and most of it is created by other guys hoping to cash in on your confusion) about what it means to be a POWERFUL and persuasive man in today's society.

I'm not even going to throw you more of that evolutionary stuff because it really doesn't matter. When you think about it, it just makes sense that we want people who appear or demonstrate more social value than us. It's because we naturally want to latch on to their power.

Again, it all comes back to power.

So being an "Alpha" doesn't mean you're dragging women back to a cave by the hair. Or that you're being an asshole or a pushy loudmouthed jerk. Or that you're being angry and shoving people around to get your way. Or that you're inconsiderate of others no matter how weak or strong they are. Or that you're acting like a rutting animal.

It means that you understand ATTRACTION - and why women are attracted to men (meaning what makes a woman FEEL attraction toward a man) and that YOU are willing to be that man. Not a wussy, pushover flop that's afraid to let women know he wants them.

You see, there are only two motivating forces in life: Desire and Fear.

That's it. We are motivated purely by what we feel we WANT, and what we feel we most want to avoid. Being afraid is a stronger motivator for people because it has helped us survive potentially life-threatening situations ( think about poor Cro-Magnon man facing a saber tooth tiger. If he was an egotistical jack-ass - he would have challenged the tiger and been lunch meat. Then the chimps would rule earth). You're smart to fear wild animals, or large trains heading toward you. You can't afford the luxury of analysis in these situations. A delay could cost you your life.

On the other hand, in our modern society, there isn't much you have to fear. People actually seem to fear too much nowadays, including simple things like approaching women and conversation. Social anxiety rules us.

What this is - is fear of LOSS.

Everyone's favorite short wrinkly green dude, Yoda, even said it in the latest Star Wars flick... "Fear of loss leads to the dark side." And so it does. It leads you down a path where you never gain because you're too afraid of losing what you have. Even if that is an intangible thing - like a blow to the pride if she says piss off.

An Alpha Man understands that the only way to live is to wake up each morning and understand that everything you have was just given back to you with the dawn.

So, when someone tells you that being an Alpha is bad, or it's this and that, remember that they're trying to color your perception. They're trying to steer you away from a path of understanding and enlightenment. Trust your own intelligence to figure out what an Alpha Man REALLY is.

What you may not know is that he's already inside of you. It just takes a little work to let this instinct out so that you can become the COMPLETE you.

There are a lot of guys out there who haven't been able to open themselves up to letting out this TRUE nature inside them. They hide it behind "Politically Correct" BS about not hurting other people's feelings, or being sensitive, or being in touch with their feminine side...ugh.

It's really a fear to let other people see the REAL you. The man that wants to have power. The man that wants virile women in his life. The man that wants tangible success. The man that wants power over the forces of life that seem to control him.

Forget about all this "Alpha" talk and just open your mind up to finding this part of you that isn't held back by fear, and is ready to reach out for understanding that could - and will - change your life for the better.

So on one hand we have the lowly AFC, or non-Alpha. He's a little insecure, possibly low self-esteem, but WANTS to grow and change. He is probably shuffling his feet right now - or maybe, he is a little puffed up in the chest saying, "THAT is what I want to be when I grow up!"

So let that inner alpha out!