Lately I’ve (Scot McKay) been starting to earn the reputation for being the dating coach who takes guys from “good with women” to “great with women”. Sure, David D. introduced me as that guy when I was on his interview series nearly two years ago, but these days it’s really starting to take hold.
In fact, just last Thursday I did an interview where the host said exactly the same thing when SHE introduced me to her audience. Yes, I said “she”.
And I’ll tell you, there’s nothing I love better than to hear success stories from guys who have raised the bar higher than they ever could have imagined previously… perhaps even higher than they thought possible even two or three months prior to getting in touch with us. You can see one such story on the blog right now.
So basically, I wake up every morning amazingly psyched to go to work. As some of you who have e-mailed me or talked to me or who are on Twitter already know, sometimes I don’t HAVE to “wake up” for work…I’m STILL up from YESTERDAY.
But here’s the painful part.
Some guys believe I’m full of it.
They refuse to believe (and I think “refuse” is the correct word here) that what I talk about around here is EVEN POSSIBLE…AT ALL, let alone for THEM.
I would be shocked and confused by this, except for one simple factor: Less than a decade ago I would have been RIGHT THERE WITH THEM.
I used to think that dating more than one woman at once was a ridiculous fantasy that was only possible in the movies.
I thought that women called all the shots, and men had to grovel for acceptance from them…only to usually get “rejected”.
And heck, after my divorce I even started thinking all women were “crazy” and just wanted to use guys.
It was only after doing a LOT of research and “field testing” that I started to see results that clearly indicated that what I heard about other guys succeeding with women was NO JOKE.
I have to tell you…THAT’S what compelled me to leave a perfectly good career as a regional sales manager for a trendy IT company to start this one.
It wasn’t to make hollow promises to desperate guys about how to “get laid quick”.
Sure, I understand how bad sexual frustration can feel. And I know how easy it would be to capitalize on helping guys who have experienced zero success with women cure the immense personal pain that goes along with that.
But you know what?
If getting a phone number equals “success”, and simply having sex is the goal, then there are HUNDREDS of places on the Internet that can hook you up.
But my vision for you is MUCH, MUCH greater than that.
Sure, I hope you are unwilling to “settle” for anything less than a wildly successful dating life where you call all the shots, make all the decisions, and manage relationships with women who absolutely adore you and would do ANYTHING for you…ultimately culminating in meeting and permanently attracting the GREATEST woman ever.
But before even hoping you are unwilling to “settle”, I hope you are even able to SEE IT’S POSSIBLE to be “great” instead of just “good” with women.
Consider this. Did you know that when I think of my “typical” reader, I picture an educated, athletic, and socially-talented guy with tons of potential? And I picture him FED UP with hanging out with women who don’t meet his standards.
That’s how I see YOU.
And guess what? Based on the vast majority of e-mail I get, I think I pretty much understand my audience.
So here’s my challenge to you: Do YOU believe in YOUR OWN SUCCESS as much as I DO?
Because it’s not just POSSIBLE. It’s WITHIN YOUR GRASP.
Emily is not a paid actress. (Yes, I’ve actually heard that assertion before).
And yes, things go as well for us in real life as they do on our Web sites.
And yes, there were other high quality women in my life before I met Emily.
And above all, NO…I’m not smoking crack. I REALLY think you can rise above simply “getting a girl…ANY girl” and seriously accomplish your ULTIMATE vision of success with women.
But the think is that some guys only have limited vision in that area.
Do you know what my biggest challenge with guys on my coaching program is?
You may shake your head, but it’s that they DISAPPEAR after four or six out of ten planned 1-on-1 calls with me.
They aren’t displeased. They don’t want their money back. They’re just OVERWHELMED.
They’re getting SOME success, and they’re THRILLED with it.
But what I have in mind for them is a more complete plan with an even happier ending. And I continually, it seems, have to remind guys of that and help them see the opportunity for greater success than THEY EVEN IMAGINE ahead.
It’s gotten to the point where I actually TELL GUYS about this phenomenon when they first get started on the program. They say it’ll never happen in their case, and it often still does.
Why?
Because ALMOST NO GUY ON EARTH ever actually achieves the kind of success we talk about around here. Therefore, it’s hard to imagine because almost everyone you’ve ever met can’t relate to it.
And the one or two guys you’ve known along the way who can? When you heard them talk about the women in their lives you probably thought they were…are you ready for this?…full of it.
Here’s the most mind-bending part of the story of all. Despite the fact that almost all guys live their entire lives without the success with women they would have liked to have had, it’s JUST NOT AS HARD AS YOU THINK to achieve it.
You may have suspected that all along, in fact. And I’ve just confirmed it for you.
It’s just that most of us are competitive creatures, and it’s easier for us to DISMISS rumors of success than to ACCEPT THE TRUTH and make it happen for ourselves.
Worse? Most of us are too proud to ask for directions.
Or…we figure out there’s no “quick fix” and it might take some effort.
So we, like most people in life, get lazy and stop right after we start.
Or we get too squeamish and give up too quickly.
How many times have you seen a guitar in the corner gathering dust? Welcome to exactly the concept I’m talking about.
Most of us would love to be rock stars, but are content to play a video game that simulates it instead.
Success with women? Most of us are content to watch porn instead of doing what it takes to meet a great woman.
And here it is: Porn stars aren’t even a fair simulation of what having a great woman is all about. And I think you know that already.
The valid truth about human nature is this. We all want THE PRIZE, but we don’t often want to exert any energy or effort to GET IT.
Consider the times where you’ve seen raffles or drawings featuring a cool prize for the winner. You want the prize. But as soon as you figure out you’ve got to fill out some sort of form to be eligible, you pass.
Similarly, you might like to win the Tour De France. But after about ten minutes on Lance Armstrong’s training program, you might decide otherwise.
The higher you aim, the higher the potential prize. And the higher the prize, the more effort is involved.
But like I just alluded to, success with women is one of the “prizes” in life that absolutely, positively brings the MOST REWARD for even a very REASONABLE AMOUNT of effort.
And guys STILL MISS THAT. They REFUSE to believe it.
Welcome to what keeps me up at night.
What’s it going to take to get YOU to believe you can SUPER-ACHIEVE with women?
Was this article enough?
Can you cut through your doubt and begin to BELIEVE that what you hear about elsewhere when it comes to AMAZING SUCCESS with women is true?
Can you accept a vision for YOURSELF that is as lofty as MINE is?
Can you look WAY past getting a phone number as a definition of “success”?
I trust you can. Because crazy or not, I BELIEVE you can achieve.
If I can, YOU CAN. All it really takes is a belief that you CAN understand women, that they CAN be high-quality human beings, and that they DO want a high-quality “big four” man like you in their lives as YOU want them in yours.
Be Good,
Scot McKay