“What it feels like for a girl using online personals”
No, I haven’t been cross-dressing, and no. I’m not going to talk about a Madonna song. What I’m talking about is to imagine what it feels like to be a girl on an online personals site.
Let’s face it, attractive women are what drive online personals. They get you to signup, to create a profile, and to email them. Now take any popular online personals site, and any decent looking woman on there is probably BOMBARDED with a blizzard of emails. (If you’ve done the recon profile experiment I teach, I’m sure you know exactly what I’m talking about.)
Unfortunately, most of the messages she gets are from men who just don’t fit what she’s looking for. I’m talking about guys who are either outside her local area, guys who come off VERY CREEPY, and guys who have verbal diarrhea.
LET’S TURN THE TABLES FOR A SECOND…
Imagine What it feel like to be a girl on an online personals site
How about I turn the tables for a second. Picture this:
Suppose you were getting HUNDREDS of emails EVERY day…
… From women who live in Russia.
… From women who have 9 kids.
… And from women who looked like they weighed 450 pounds (on a good day.)
AFTER A FEW DAYS OF THIS, WHAT WOULD YOU DO? Do you think you MIGHT be a little frustrated?
Do you think you would wonder if these women actually READ your profile?
Do you think you would start deleting them?
Sure.
And on some days, when you’re not in the mood to deal with this, you start MASS DELETING emails. One after another… Good, bad, it makes no difference.
This is a typical situation most women find themselves in the moment they post their online personals ad.
Is there any wonder why YOUR email never got responded to?
LET ME SAVE YOU THE TIME, HERE’S WHY SHE DIDN’T REPLY.
1.) Maybe she’s already met 3 guys who beat you to the punch, and wants to see how things pan out. Early bird gets the worm.
2.) Maybe she read your email, but your photos and profile were missing a few CRITICAL things, and she didn’t reply. (hint: it’s much more than just a photo)
3.) Maybe she has specific criteria for what she’s looking for, (some women when getting a large volume of emails get EVEN MORE selective with whom they reply to.)
SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING WRONG?
If you think you should compliment her, and tell her all the reasons why she should reply, you’re actually conveying all the reasons why she SHOULDN’T. When you compliment a woman you give her higher value, Higher value than you, and what happens is you are in effect looking up to her. Knowing this now, is there any wonder she didn’t write back? The next time you’re thinking of complimenting a woman and when you tell her how hot she is, consider this:
Compliments = ZERO Challenge
Challenge = Confidence
Confidence = Interest
You’d never walk up to a woman in a bar and tell her she’s hot, seems nice and you want to buy her a drink, would you?
No.
So why on earth would you write a first email which conveys the same thing?
GIVE WOMEN A CHALLENGE
Women tell me all the time they’re dying for a guy to stand up and be DIFFERENT.
Here’s some tips to help you:
1) K.I.S.S.
Keep it simple. People are busy these days and the last thing someone wants to read is a 5-page email containing everything about you.
2) BE DIFFERENT
After getting HUNDREDS of emails, don’t you think she can spot something thats been sent over and over. Once you understand what she’s dealing with, its easier to send her something different than every other guy.
3) Compliments = Needy.
If you’re emailing women complimenting them, you’re probably coming off the OPPOSITE as you think you are. When you compliment a woman via email, (something every OTHER guy does) you’re conveying that you’re a NEEDY guy.
4) LOOK FOR CLUES
Dig through her profile to find that one thing you find interesting about her, and let her know about it.
5) DO THE OPPOSITE
Try this experiment for a week. Try sending women the OPPOSITE of what you think you should send. Don’t worry about the end result. You might be surprised with the results. If you think she’s got a killer figure, mention something about her weight. If you were laughing after reading her profile, mention something about her profile being kind of boring.
6) CTA – Does it contain a STRONG call to action?
If you don’t hear back from women you email, you can’t take it personally, it’s the nature of the internet. … And thats why you should ALWAYS follow up with another specific “Follow up” email if you didn’t hear back from a woman you’ve already emailed.
I cover this technique in detail (along with a specific template you can use) in the Insider Internet Dating program.
Yes, there are specific things to improve your odds, but If you are worried about women not responding it almost becomes a self fulfilling prophesy and as a result you end up CONVEYING to you don’t have a lot of options. Start focusing on the women who DO reply to you.
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT …
Suppose you were speaking to 5 women this week, had 2 dates this week, and were seeing 2 women. Do you think you’d be concerned about a woman not replying to your email? Nope… I didn’t think so.
By the way, if you haven’t had a chance to try the Insider Internet Dating program yet, take advantage of my 45-day trial so you can see for yourself how EASY it is to meet women online.
http://www.insiderinternetdating.com/for-a-girl.html
Heck, I’ll even give you some extra free gifts just for trying it out. And if for some reason you still want to go back to your old destructive and expensive ways, you can still keep the gift. My treat.
… Or you can ‘wing it’ on guesswork and hope for the best… but I hope you take my advice instead. 🙂
Your friend,
Dave M.
Author, Insider Internet Dating