You are here because you are looking for tips on becoming an alpha male, right?  You want to learn to be the alpha man, the top dawg, and you want more confidence with women and more success in dating.  I hear ya, man.

So, I was talking the other day with a friend, (a fellow Alpha Male) and he was joking about the way boys grow up, drawing dicks on desks, and how they would write the notes to the girls to find out if they liked him or not.

This really got me thinking again about how we’re brought up, and how we learn to treat women.

Think back to when you were a kid. When you had a crush on a girl, what did you do?

Sure, you did what most of the boys did (lacking social skills)… You somehow thought that if you wrote her a note, disclosing your TRUE feelings for her, that she would somehow jump in your lap.

What did you write her? Something like: “Do you like me? Check one: Yes / No”

Then you’d slip it into her book bag, or on her desk. Or maybe you’d hand it to her as you ran to your bus.

And what did she do? Well, some girls would just take it and show it to their friends, giggling and laughing, crushing our little child egos. Then, many of the girls would write back.

She’d NEVER check Yes, even if she did like you. Most often, what would she do? She’d write in “MAYBE.” And the pattern began.

Don’t mistake what I’m going to say here as some kind of disguised male anger, but: Guys were setup from that point on to always be subject to the whims of female sexual power and control. They learned that a girl’s approval could make them feel bad or good about themselves. All with a little check mark.

What we didn’t learn was that they couldn’t affect our confidence – unless we LET THEM.  There was no system in high school for becoming an alpha male and getting through all this with our asses intact.

Think about that for a minute. Isn’t this the SAME damn pattern we go through as teenagers, and then adults?

A man is interested in a woman. He starts thinking about her all the time. He wants to know if this is worth pursuing.

So he asks her out, and after the first date, he goes home and thinks about her some more. He wants to know what’s going on. What does she think about him?

Then he wants to lock it down. He gets impatient and calls her up, and he tells her his feelings for her. Then he asks: “Do you like me?”

He asks it again with his supplicating and insecure behavior, even if he never actually says the words.

You see, guys think in black-and-white. Yes or no. Like me or not. None of that “Maybe” crap.

Guys don’t want the drama of riding an emotional roller coaster. But girls grow up loving that drama.

And what happens the second he tries to pin her down? To tell him what she thinks of him? She becomes harder to get. She becomes more elusive and distant.

She stops feeling attraction because it’s obvious that he NEEDS her in some way.  And THAT is not alpha male behavior – even if the woman has never heard the term “Alpha Man” – she knows what it is and what she wants.

You see, a woman KNOWS that sexuality is her POWER.  She knows if you are not an alpha male.

A man holds the might, but a woman controls the zipper. So he must play the Game.

And since guys are not brought up to understand this game very well, they are unsure of the rules.

Think about what it’s like to learn a new card game. When you first start playing, your eyes glaze over a bit as the person starts to explain the rules. Then you realize that the best way to learn is to just play it. After a while, you get the hang of it and it becomes fun. But at first, when you don’t know what to do and when, it’s stressful. Not very fun at all.

If I were to tell you that I know a card game where the rules seem to change every time you play it, and the only way you can bet is with your heart and emotions, and that you never really get to see any of the cards until you’ve already lost, would you be interested? HELL NO!

Most guys would laugh and hit the Roulette wheel again before they’d chance on that losing proposal.

But that’s the card game of dating and seduction, guys.

The women have all the cards, and you can only figure out which is which by learning to read how she’s holding them. The more you don’t want to see the cards, the more she wants you to look at them. The more you try to peek at the cards, the worse your hand gets. But that’s the game, gentlemen. Like it or not.

But this game is winnable. I do it and see it all the time. The secret to winning this game is that the CARDS DON’T MATTER. It’s how you PLAY them. (The funny part of this card game is that if you play the game right, your cards actually get better and better, until you can be holding five or six aces. Screw it up, and you can actually be holding a fist full of ZEROS.)

Men and women are different. Don’t try to convince yourself otherwise.

I used to say that “men and women are really the same inside.” This was back in my chump days, when I was getting laid by luck, not by design. And then my luck dried up. And so did my sex life.

I even felt wrong every time I said that lame thing about men and women being the same. I KNEW inside that I was wrong. But I WANTED it to be right. That’s where most guys go off the path, and almost never come back. They become addicted to the way they WISH it was instead of the way it REALLY is. Then, every day, they invent every justification imaginable to make it that way.

So when they fail to get the woman they want, they make excuses and claim that women are just too hard to understand. They don’t see that their own egos are getting in the way.

You see, a winner doesn’t complain or cry or whine about the way he “wishes” it was.

Arrogant people are hard to teach because they think they already know it all. It takes a mighty humbling experience for them to put aside their insecurities and let themselves be taught. A winner – an ALPHA Man winner – realizes that pride goes before a fall.

Instead, when faced with a situation and a game he doesn’t understand, the winner goes and LEARNS.

He doesn’t puff up his chest and proclaim that he doesn’t need any help with women. He doesn’t shift the responsibility for his actions to someone or something else. He accepts that if he’s going to learn, he has to put away that sore, hurt little boy, and go back to school for a bit.

Did you know that the majority of people do not read a single book after they get out of school? We’ve lost over 20 million readers of literature in the last 20 years.

I’m not telling you this to increase your social awareness or make you rush out to a bookstore. But the reality is that fewer people than ever are taking the responsibility for educating themselves and improving their lives.

And NOBODY is going to just show up on your doorstep and teach you this stuff. If you’re going to learn, you have to TEACH YOURSELF. And, believe it or not, that’s all you ever did in school. You taught yourself.

So what’s it going to be?

Yes? No? Maybe?

If you want a woman’s interest, you’re going to have to learn a little more about what makes them tick.

Contrary to popular belief, you were not born with all the knowledge necessary to attract women. In fact, 90+% of all guys do NOT know how to really generate authentic female sexual attraction. they have no idea what an alpha male is. This is where I decided it was time for me to give you the resources you need to become part of that top 10%. The elite. The men who GET WHAT THEY WANT.

It’s really all about power, and whether or not you are perceived as having any. Personal power. Masculine power. Knowledge power. All kinds of power.

Powerful men don’t have try too hard. They know how to influence a woman by demonstrating their internal strength in certain ways.

They know how to play that card game I mentioned, and not be insecure that they can’t see whether they have Kings… or twos.

Most people call it “body language”—the clues to the true meaning and objective of communication from people that we get from gesture, facial expression, posture—any action that is not a spoken cue. The scientists call it “nonverbal communication,” which is an excellent description – but what most people do not understand is that this body language is used more often than spoken word when trying to decipher intent and meaning out of any communication.

Accurately reading body language is essential for success in relationships, from dating to marriage. However, much of our understanding is instinctive—and a good deal of it is wrong, according to modern communications research. What follows are some of the more common myths, and the truth behind them.

Myth – a liar can’t look you straight in the eye. There is a common belief that people who are unable to maintain eye contact are probably lying. Inability to hold eye contact and shifting body signals are common flags of deceit – however – these are such commonly held beliefs that undoubtedly the person who is lying knows about them, and can easily overcome these unconscious habits.

In addition, many other factors can contribute to body language that indicated deceit – such as simple nervousness. There are many reasons for nervousness, especially in the dating world. Therefore, to understand what the behavior means, you still have to interpret the emotion. Furthermore, one group in particular excels at making eye contact that appears to be very sincere: pathological liars. Hence, it is not safe to rely on eye contact as a measure of sincerity or truthfulness.

2. When meeting someone, the more direct the eye contact, the better. This long-held belief is the inverse of the idea that shifty-eyed people are liars. The result is an unfortunate tendency for people making initial contact—as in a job interview, for example—to stare fixedly at the other person. This behavior is just as likely to make the interviewer uncomfortable as not. Most of us are comfortable with eye contact lasting a few seconds, but any eye contact that persists longer than that can make us nervous. We assume that there is something else going on—an attempt to initiate flirtatious behavior, or even intimidation perhaps. Indeed, studies on flirting show that prolonged eye contact is an early step in the process.

3. Putting your hands behind your back is a gesture that makes one seem powerful. For years presentation coaches have taught people to put their hands behind their backs in what is sometimes called the “Prince Charles” stance, in the mistaken belief that the heir to the British throne is a good model for strong body language. Since he’s a prince, the thinking goes, and he stands that way a lot, it must be powerful.

Actually, the research shows that most people find the gesture untrustworthy—if we can’t see what your hands are doing, we’re suspicious. So if your goal is to increase trust in any given situation, don’t put your hands behind your back.

4. High-status people demonstrate their dominance of others by touching them. Another widely accepted belief is that powerful people in society—often men—show their dominance over others by touching them in a variety of ways. In fact, the research shows that in almost all cases, lower-status people initiate touch. And women initiate touch more often than men do. This is especially important in the dating world – initiating touch in ways other than those designed for kino escalation can signify lower status and approval seeking behavior.

5. People smile when they’re happy. People smile for all sorts of reasons, only one of which is to signal happiness. In fact, there are many kinds of smiles, and the interpretation of a smile can mean anything from contempt and sarcasm to deference or even an effort to ignore an individual. Women, especially, tend to smile for more reasons than a show of happiness. Unless a smile is accompanied by open body language and eye contact, do not interpret it as an open invitation.

6. Voices rise when speakers are angry. Again, nonverbal communication reliably signals the presence of emotion, but not the specific emotion. A rising voice is associated with a variety of emotions, including anger, but also nervousness, fear, excitement, hysteria, and even amusement. You must always consider the communicator and the context carefully. Indeed – many people get quieter when they are angry, so volume is not a reliable indicator of emotion.

Most of the research into nonverbal communications shows that people are not very good at masking their feelings. Emotions do leak out regularly, in many ways. And yet, the research also shows that most of us are not as good at decoding those emotions as we would like to think. Young people are significantly worse at both signaling emotions and reading them. Although we do learn as we grow older, we should remain wary; in the end, body language conveys important but unreliable clues about the intent of the communicator. The more information you can get about the clues you are trying to decode, the more likely you will be to decode them correctly. 

Ok guys, let’s talk some straight body language tips here. Women want a real man, and from the first moment she sees you, she is sizing you up. She is looking for a MAN – and the definition of an attractive Man to a woman is dominant, alpha male. I don’t mean be a jerk – I mean be confidant, sure of yourself, display your “prowess” in other words. Let her know that you are powerful and able man.

On the flip side of that, there are some dead giveaways to a woman that you are NOT these things to her, and it will turn her off faster than a light switch. These are sure fire attraction KILLERS. Never, under any circumstance, project any of these body language traits when you are trying to pick up women (or under any circumstance, for that matter).

A few of them are:

1) Can’t maintain eye contact

2) Has slumped, submissive posture

3) Fidgets nervously

4) Gives away his power

5) Looks for attention and approval from others

Of course, there are so many “little attraction signals” that women look for to make that snap decision about what kind of man you are and INSTANTLY know whether or not you are worth another thought. ALL of this in conveyed through your BODY LANGUAGE.

Now, as I said earlier, these “decisions” that women make about attraction all happen on a subconscious level. Women don’t look at a guy, then say to a friend, “Well, he held eye contact when I looked at him, and he was standing straight with his head up high in a dominant posture so I’m going to give him a chance”.

It’s simply an immediate, instinctive feeling that women get. They use these little body language cues to instantly size you up, then respond without even knowing it.

Dominance (attraction) can also be confirmed by your attitude when that initial eye contact goes a bit farther. You can say something cocky and funny to her, like “I just couldn’t help noticing you… [pause]… STARING at me…” or , “Do you always maintain such strong eye contact? Or do you only stare at guys like me that you can’t help it with?”

Try anything. You’re in the right place… I mean, you don’t even have to expend the energy to walk over and start a conversation! At least say Hi! Show her that you are a) not afraid to talk to her (i.e. not afraid of rejection/her opinion of you) b) aware that she is attracted to you (even if you are not sure, play it like she is and attraction will follow!) and c) a little out of her reach (because you are HIGHER STATUS than she is).

Is there a such thing as a human mating dance? It is very clear in nature when two animals are mating, because they use their body language to display it, with complex rituals, dances, displays or projects. These rituals are hardwired into the animals, they are completely instinctual, not something they learn from their parents or from a movie on the discovery channel.

So, do human beings have a mating dance, a set of ritual courtship steps that we go through in the process of selecting a mate and proceeding from that selection into the consummation of that selection? Yes, we do. However, most men do not KNOW the steps of that dance, and therefore will not be chosen by a woman to be their mate.

Let us digress for just a moment. How is a solid gold coin different from paper money? Paper money is actually a representation of money, it is not worth anything outside the value of what society or the government has placed upon it. The gold coin has value outside of monetary value, it can be melted down and made into other objects.

In this same vein, how is body language different than other languages? Body language is an innate method of communication that is incapable of lying, as well as has no language barrier. A smile is a universal sign, whereas the word “hello” is different in languages around the world. According to Dr. Albert Mehrabian in his Psychology Today article, it is estimated that only 7% of communication is purveyed by words, 38% by voice tone and the remaining 55% by facial expression and body language.

Body Language and expression, then, are KEY COMPONENTS in understanding the complexities and mechanics of attraction. I highly recommend STUDYING Body Language if the mechanics of attraction interest you at all. By studying Body language, you can learn the subtle signals and methods of sparking attraction with a woman that 99% of the population have NO IDEA exist at all. The Naturals? THEY KNOW. The guys you see at the bars and clubs just picking up woman after woman? THEY KNOW. The dork-wad making moon eyes at every hottie that walks by him and getting rejected more times than a dick flavored sucker? HE does NOT know.

That being said, how about some recommendations? If you want to get in the know, you have got to check out Carlos Xuma’s Approach Program – he can teach you some AMAZING things about Body Language and how it affects the mating dance in a real and tangible way.

Here are some of the things Carlos will teach you:

• What instinct you must trust to enable your long-term success with women…
• How to interpret and handle open/closed body language so that you’re not tricked again…
• What is the difference between men and women and how they express interest or disinterest in body language…?
• How to find the single most important indicator of interest from a woman and how you need to read it to stay on track when you’re building attraction…?
• What are the specific definitions of each of her body movements and how to read them all…?
• What are the Positive vs. Negative Indicators from a woman – and which ones you can trust to read her correctly and not waste your time?
• Proxemics – What they are, and how they work in different settings…
• My 2 Essential Techniques to use to get a woman to feel trust and rapport with you so that you can get past the games and get really connected…
• The Approach Killers – I’ll give you ALL the mistakes guys typically make during the approach – and how you can learn to avoid them…
• How to use my “Assume the Bond” strategy and have her feeling like she’s known you her whole life…
• The one thing you must communicate with your words to make your approach succeed, and if you don’t communicate this, she’ll just walk away…

There’s even more inside this program…

• What you absolutely must NOT do during your approach to avoid the “uncomfortable silence” situation – and how you can stop this from ever happening again…
• How to use “Monk’s Discipline” for perseverance to success with women and getting conversations that not only keep going until you want to leave them, you’ll have her hooked on you…
• I’ll destroy the myths about “rejection” and “approach anxiety” that guys like us feel, and I’ll show you how to rid yourself of the fear and shyness that holds you back from approaching the really beautiful women you see in the bars…
• Why most approaches fail, and what you can do to easily double your success rate at getting numbers from women…
• You’ll understand the Five Levels of Approachers – Figure out which one you are, and how to achieve phenomenal growth by using the right approach strategies for your level…
• The A.I.M. Method of approaching, explained in detail from start to finish – a complete system of how to approach women – for every guy at any skill level…
• How to give yourself the mind-set you must have to ensure you are never rejected or lose confidence when you’re talking with women ever again…
• Tons of Example Approaches – you’ll have specific word-for-word approaches for meeting girls at a:
  • Restaurant
  • Grocery store
  • Department store
  • Bar
  • Club
  • Park
  • Parking Lot
  • Street or sidewalk
  • Bookstore
  • Your Local Coffee Shop
  • Party
  • Any Group Setting
  • Festival or a Street fair
  • Convention
  • Your Gym or Exercise Club
  • An Art Show
  • ANYWHERE you see a woman you want to meet

I have a concept, and it goes like this . . . There’s a kind of build-up of attraction that happens when a man and a woman meet. You could say that the more attraction happens, the more attraction it creates. This process happens very differently for men than it does for women. For men, it can happen instantly, and be over instantly. For women, it tends to build up over time, and then go away over time. I call this concept: “ATTRACTION MOMENTUM.”

Men are very visual and they are instantly attracted to a woman, sometimes so much so that they lose all sense of reality and their surroundings. Women are initially attracted to a man’s looks, but beyond that something else is also happening. Women are also attracted to a man’s energy, confidence, the tone of his voice, and the way he listens when they speak.

A woman’s attraction to a man is complicated, while a man is overstimulated on the visual side like a giant Scooby Doo. To attract a man, a woman needs to be able to seduce his eyes with her sex appeal. To attract a woman, a man needs to intrigue and seduce her mind.

This is where men lose the connection. They tend to try to “wow” a woman in the same way they would go about trying to impress a fellow man.

Let me go further into this. A good woman friend once told me “The more a man speaks, the drier I get. I wish sometimes he would not say a word so I can remain turned on and attracted to him.” This is the cold hard truth. Most men have no idea that in order to create attraction, they need to shut up and listen.

Men tend to try to close a woman by selling themselves to her. What happens in reality, however, is that the more they sell the less the attraction to them becomes. Men are what I call “wing flappers.” They think that by trying to impress a woman with their life accomplishments, they will seduce her and attract her . . . which is far from the truth.

The key to attracting women and creating the “attraction momentum” is a 3 step process.

Step 1 is the initial approach. Women can see you coming from a mile away. They smell you, and if they are attracted to you they want you to approach them. But it is the way you approach that will cause the attraction momentum to either rise or fall.

Men that walk over immediately are ones who tend to be received well by women. Ask any woman what her feelings are about the way a man approaches, and she will tell you that if she hears the “Jaws” theme playing in her head she will lose any of the initial attraction that she was feeling. Most men tend to circle like sharks for hours before they approach, and by the time they finally do approach the woman is turned off by him.

What happens next, i.e., Step 2, is another attraction key that will either raise her level of interest or decrease the attraction.

Most men will talk at a woman with random thoughts. Men tend to speak in random circles . . . That works in the man world. Take the following example. Two men are sitting in a café watching a game on TV. This is how a conversation would typically go:

Man 1: “You hungry?”

Man 2: “Yes.”

Man 1: “Wow! Did you see that throw?”

Man 2: “Yes, that was great. Hey . . . Check her out!”

Man 1: “Hot!”

Man 2: “Yeah, really hot. So, how’s work?”

Man 1: “Good. Any you?”

Man 2: “Good. What do you want to eat?”

Man 1: “Sandwich maybe . . . Wow! Look at that play.”

Man 2: “Forget the play. Look at her!”

Man 1: “Hot.”

Man 2: “Yeah, I think I want a sandwich too. Let’s order.”

So now that you’ve seen what “man talk” looks like, let’s look at the conversation of two women in the same café so you can understand how women react to each other and how they speak to one another.

Women 1: “How was your date last night?”

Women 2: “It was ok.”

Women 1: “Just ok? Why? What happened?”

Women 2: “He was really funny, but …”

Women 1: “But what?”

Women 2: “He did something when the waitress came over that
really made me think.”

Women 1: “What did he do? Was he checking her out?”

Women 2: “I am not sure. I have been running it through my head,
and I just can’t get a reading on it.”

Women 1: “Details please! Let’s figure this out . . .”

Do you see the difference? Women get deeper in one conversation, while men talk in random circles eventually getting back to the original conversation.

So now you can see how attraction momentum works. Men need to learn the trigger points in women . . . how they think, how they react, and how they speak. Most men will talk to a woman in “man talk” and when they do, they will cause the attraction momentum to go down instead of up.

For every woman that is sitting in a café reading the newspaper, there is a man thinking that he can just walk over to her with some canned line and a few follow-up questions. Men believe that there is an approach that will work in all situations, or that there are custom approaches that will work regardless of what she says. It’s that mindset that kills all attraction for women, yet men think that there is some magic approach that will work in all situations.

Men will actually spend time looking for someone who can give them that answer, that “magic approach,” so they will be attractive to all women in all situations. Men will use an approach over and over, memorizing it so they can perform it in front of a woman. The truth is that women are looking to connect with a man . . . not to watch a one man show.

That alone will kill the attraction momentum for women. Women are present in the moment whereas men think about what they have to say.

So let’s see how the attraction momentum is killed in a café . . . and this is after a woman has smiled and checked out the man.

Man: “Can I borrow a section of your paper?”

Woman: “Yes, you can.”

Man: “Are you having a good day?”

Woman: “Yes I am . . . but this story about Iraq is really disturbing.”

Man: “Do you live here?”

Woman: “Yes . . . around the corner. I love this area.”

Man: “What do you do for work?”

See, a man walks over and he has these predetermined questions that he wants to ask her already in his mind. And not once did he pick up on anything that she was saying, which in turn is causing the attraction momentum to go down as each word comes out of his mouth. Because they don’t listen, men tend to kill the attraction once they open their mouths. Step 3, therefore, is to remain present in the moment and to listen to what a woman is saying.

There are also many other ways a man can kill attraction.

Another way that a man kills the attraction momentum is when he looks at a woman like a desperate, hungry wolf staring at its next meal. Or when he’s out with a hungry testosterone-laden wolf pack, he will poke a friend five times before talking to a woman. Women don’t communicate like hungry wolves about to eat a meal.

Women communicate in a whole different language. When they look at a man, they admire a man. They don’t look at him like he’s about to be put on the grill.

Women like to be looked at a certain way in order to build attraction. By looking at a woman with a very seductive, sexy, George Clooney smile, you will be able to turn her on in ways you’ve never imagined! In order for attraction to build in a woman, you need to do it slowly and seductively. You also need to jump into her head and start a conversation based on thoughts she’s already having. So . . . how do you do this?

First, you need to observe what she’s doing so you can jump into her head when you talk to her. This way, the conversation is based on something she’s already feeling or doing so it’s natural. Most men will walk over to a woman and do the exact opposite like the example above. In a second, I am going to show you a conversation that you can have anywhere that will get you to bond with a woman and create far greater attraction than you’ve ever had before.

The second dating tip before we go through that conversation, is to keep present in the moment so that the conversation is just an extension of her thoughts. If what you say is an extension of her thoughts, she won’t even realize what’s happening. She won’t have her defenses up, and by doing this you will be bonding with her about the things she’s already thinking.

The third, and most important, thing that makes the attraction meter go up instead of down, is to listen and to react to what she is saying. In my earlier example, I talked about two women and how they have a conversation. Women start on a subject and then go deeper into it, creating a bond between them. That is the exact type of bond you need to create with a woman in order to cause the attraction to rise instead of fall.

Most guys when they approach a woman, create a whole new feeling, thought and conversation. Take, for example, a woman who might be eating a peach at a farmer’s market. A typical guy will walk over and ask her a question about the weather, instead of picking the obvious thing like I’m about to show you.

Let’s take the peach example. You see a woman eating a juicy peach at a farmer’s market. So how do you come across as the confident male instead of the bumbling guy that has nothing to say? The first step you’ve already done, i.e., observed what she’s doing. The second step is to walk over immediately. Walk over with authority and confidence. When you approach her, be playful and say:

Man: “That looks great. Can I have a bite?”

Woman: “I don’t know . . . I don’t know if I’m in the mood to share today.”

Man: “What, you don’t like to share?”

Woman: “I love to share, but I don’t even know you.”

Man: “What do you need to know in order for me to get a bite of that peach?”

Woman: “Well, we could start with your name.”

Man: “So all I need to do is tell you my name, and I’ll get a bite of that peach?”

Woman: “Maybe . . .”

Man: “I’ll tell you what. Take me to where you got that peach and I’ll get my own.
Then we’ll compare and see who got the better peach. We’ll go bite for bite.”

Woman: “You’re on . . .I’ll go bite for bite. I believe in my peach.”

Man: “What else do you believe in?”

At this point you’ve now segued away from the peach, and opened the door to her sharing her thoughts with you. You’ve also been very playful and you’ve challenged her. You’ve turned a simple approach into a fun game. Plus the game was all about something she was already doing. Most men fail to create attraction because they talk in random thoughts, which is not “woman talk.” I have found in coaching thousands of women over the last 10 years that the only way to build attraction in a woman is to bond with her in the moment and jump inside her head.

Don’t believe me….. So you have to understand, to meet the most amazing women everyday and have them desire you, you have to connect with them on a higher level than you ever have before. It’s not about what to say it is how you approach and how to say it!! I go over all this in great Detail in my Men’s Master series audio program.

Talk to you soon and looking forward to hearing about all of your success with women!!

Your Friend

David Wygant