In order to be more successful with women and dating, a man must first learn to understand (as best he can) the inner workings of the female mind – what motivates women, what they need and want, how they think and how they feel. All these things, according to Double Your Dating author David DeAngelo, are critical to creating your own success with women.
One of the first mistakes that men often make in trying to get a girlfriend is that they assume that they know how a woman thinks because they assume that women think similarly to men. And no – I am not being sarcastic or dogging on women here – but the truth is that just as our physical bodies are different, our emotional and logical make-up is different as well.
What women want, according to David DeAngelo, may make no sense to us as men at all. He says in Double Your Dating, “Almost none of what I do to be successful with women makes any sense to me logically, because I’m not a woman. But now that I see that what I do works over and over again, I realize that it doesn’t matter what makes sense. All that matters is WHAT WORKS” (p 15).
Did you know that it is the female, most of the time, in nature that selects the male? This is one of the reasons that the alpha male concept developed. The female selects the male based on a genetic need to create strong, viable offspring that are one step closer to the penultimate of the species (look up Darwin if you want more on that). And most of the time in the human race, this happens as well. Women are used to being the ones that choose.
But – what if the tables were turned? What if you were the one doing the choosing? Do you think that would give a woman a different experience? A new feeling?
Maybe it would make you … stand out a little?
Well duh. Ya.
“Sooooooo…. It’s good to address this issue and point out when talking to women (even if you hint at it and talk about past experiences to make the point) that you are the selector and not the selectee. This kind of thing is very powerful, as it does one of my favorite things: It points out something to the woman that she’s most likely NEVER HEARD FROM A MAN IN HER ENTIFE LIFE. I specialize in saying things that women have never heard. I also like to say things that she’s never heard that MAKE ME DIFFERENT IN A DESIRABLE WAY” (David DeAngelo, Double Your Dating, p 16).
You can even SAY IT to a woman – tell her that you are going to tell her something about herself that no one has ever told her – it will get her attention and interest right up. And if what you tell her is profound enough – she is going to start to see you as the kind of man she needs to compete for. (And if you are sitting there thinking “But what do I SAY??” do some research! Look up interesting facts about the human psyche, the body, the mind – get some KNOWLEDGE on my friend!)
To me, this kind of philosophy is different than what a lot of the “dating gurus” teach. Many just teach you how to pick up women. That’s not the point here. The point is – you probably want a girlfriend, right? Or maybe eventually a wife or partner in your life? Well, this is the way to get your foot in the door and start meeting some women and getting some CHOICES. And by going about it from an intellectual standpoint, you can enrich HER life as well as your own. That’s a win for both of you.
Here is a GREAT example that David D gives in the Double Your Dating ebook…
One good example is to say to a hot woman who’s acting arrogant, “You don’t have me fooled for a minute, dear.” When she says, “What are you talking about?”, you say, “Well, I know that most men fall for this ‘I’m beautiful and aloof and I get my way’ part of your personality… but I know something that none of them know… that there’s really another side of you. A side that none of THEM get to see. I’ll bet you a dollar right now that I know something about you that no one who’s only known you for 5 minutes has EVER known… <pause pause pause>… You may act tough, but you’re actually EXTREMELY sensitive on the inside. If someone makes a negative comment to you, you might act like it doesn’t bother you… but you’ll think about it all the way home…I know that secretly you’re as sensitive as a little girl…it’s just that most people never get to meet that part of you…(p 16).
This will throw her off balance and let her know that you are keen and observant, as well as much deeper than most of the dumb jocks throwing back Budweisers at the bar. But don’t stop there – keep talking to her and drop a bit more knowledge on her and see how she responds. Chances are she will be chasing YOU by the end of the night.
I have to say that I really do love this article! This article rocks!! It enumerates the things that men should learn about females. Yeah at some point we maybe wanting things that seem to be nonsense for men, for us it would be a good impression if men exerts effort just to understand us. We would really appreciate if we are being taken cared of, we were though and most of all if we are loved by the person that we also love the most.
Sometimes we ladies tend to be moody and suddenly change mood from smiling to irritable. If such instances occur, please be considerate. Usually we are having our monthly period at those times. It’s not very easy and your understanding and comfort are the things that we needed from you guys.
If we are irritable please don’t be irritable too. If you know that I don’t some things and even if you like them, please do not ever do it! The least possible thing is that we will end up fighting. And fighting is not good at all.
Do not ever think that since you like such food for example, we’re going to like it also. We are not like you at all! We are very much different! Just think of this, if you want to be loved, how much more are we?
Also do not forget to ask your friends about this girl that you are going to date. Then just be who you are. Impress the lady in front of you not because you are acting cool but because that’s who you are even when you are not dating. Remember the passage from the bible, its 1st Corinthians 13, even though you are still on the dating stage. The passage would be of great help for you!
At first, I feel weird. I was asking myself, why am I here and should I read this. So I took time to read this and luckily I got interested, you’re right women are different and should be understood.
Dating advice like this can help us guys to figure the puzzle that is women out a lot quicker than just trying to do it all randomly and getting frustrated and giving up! I think that men and women are complementary just like pieces in a jigsaw and there is only one perfect fit for two pieces, but it can be fun trying. When it comes to dating, there is a lot of trial and error involved and it’s great when the puzzle is complete 🙂
I have to admit, that is an excellent method of getting a woman’s attention – especially if she is used to being pursued and having her way with men. I am pretty clever and instinctual, but your idea seems like a very powerful method that can put such a woman on her heels in intrigue. And it’s the type of attention getting statement that can change anyone’s state and get them hanging on your next words. Best of all, it is general enough that you can fill in the blanks and customize it to whomever and whatever circumstances you need. Thank you, David.
I agree, take it from a woman, do your research. We are different and we like different things, have different interests and want to do different things. Find out information that is common among women and you will stand out because you will look like you cared because you took the time to discover what we want or what we care about. This is a good read, all you guys out there should read it and take notes.