The holidays are upon us and its time to address the question I get so often from guys – what to give women for gifts. You don’t want to blow your Christmas by giving her something that says you are an ass! So read on for some solid dating advice for men on what gifts to give a woman that Carlos Xuma talks about in his blog…
1) What kinds of gifts should be given when a relationship is just starting out if you hope it could be a REAL relationship?
Normally, I recommend that a guy not get a woman a gift for the first few dates. It says you are needy and that you are trying to buy her affection. What you should do instead is spend your money on showing her that you are fun and able to have a good time. I don’t mean go to the movies. I mean go to a skating rink and have some fun, go bowling, go to the arcade, go to a Christmas parade or something unique where you can both share the experience. So presents in the early stage of a relationship should be geared toward enriching the experience of your time together, not to influence a girl. Don’t buy flowers and candy until you’ve gotten grounds for some genuine rapport and interest from her, then your gifts will be prized.
After a few dates or so, the man can then start with some inexpensive and NON-EXTRAVAGANT gifts like a card to flowers. But the idea here is to keep it LOW KEY. It’s a much better practice to under-gift at this time so that you can demonstrate thoughtful caution rather than hasty indiscretion.
Remember: It’s not the money you spend, but the message you send.
2) What types of gifts you should give to demonstrate its just a short-term, hot affair or fling that will go no further?
For a sexy fling, give sexy presents! Some great ideas are coupons for sexual acts or fantasies, lingerie, tasteful, fun toys that you can both enjoy, etc. Keep it inexpensive but nice. No jewelry!
3) What if you thought at first she was a casual date, but now want to express that you are a lot more into her?
This is a great chance for a guy to shine. Christmas is a great time to show this, or even Valentine’s day, an anniversary, her birthday, whatever. For this kind of expression when you are dating, take Carlos Xuma’s advice and give the girl something that will make her think of you. This can be something like a special present from a place you two visited together (glasses, picture frames with a picture of the two of you in it) home décor, etc.
Another great thing that girls love is to get a CD or an MP3 player full of music (specifically, songs that express how you feel). This makes a woman melt and really will spice up the attraction.
So when you are looking for that perfect gift, keep in mind the message you want to send. Stay tuned tomorrow for more on gift giving and when NOT to give a gift to a woman.
What about if you have been dating for six months but you are a fairly young couple (age wise) what should you get her then? I mean it isn’t anything like you are both in your mid twenties kind of thing but late teens early twenties. And she isn’t like a typical girl she isn’t really into all the flowers and jewelry or anything like that which makes her somewhat hard to buy for. The advice you gave about what to give at what stage was very helpful but if you have any ideas on my particular problem the help woulf be much appreciated.
I think you have really got your finger on the pulse of men everywhere, they are so clueless some times it is almost painful. I know a guy that has been dating this girl for about six months now, but she is only seventeen and he is twenty going on eighteen, so he bought her a video game for Christmas. Is that something you would have advised? I mean they are kind of serious but still just having fun and they both like video games and spending time together playing them so I don’t know. It just seemed a little childish to me. Anyway I thought your gift giving ideas and tips were right on and I love the sexy ideas I will have to do something like that for my girlfriend.
I like the idea of sexy adult gift which can enhance and spice up the sex. And if you haven’t consummated the deal yet (so to speak), and you know he/she is attracted to you, then the adult gift implies or sets the expectation of sex between the two of you. Besides, they are fun and can be humorous. And as we have learned from other lessons from David DeAngelo, sardonic and sexual humor can be an asset which keeps the women intrigued and challenged. The only drawback exits for cheap skates because adult novelties, toys and clothing can be expensive, especially if you buy it from a store location as opposed to a discount online web site. I use a little known trick to save on adult novelties. I use a tax ID number from another business and identify myself to the online dealer as a reseller and try to qualify for a wholesale price. Beware though, as some whole sellers have a minimum quantity or price before the will honor a reseller discount.
My parents received a Christmas card from my brother and his wife and from the in laws and wondered why and how many, people still waste paper and sacrifice trees by using traditional greeting cards. I can only imagine how many trees are being sacrificed each holiday season because of this tradition. Anyway, the reason I brought this up is because I recall the days before email and the internet and electronic greeting cards, when you could go to a gift shop in the local mall to buy sexually humorous greeting cards for the girlfriend. I’m sure there are still a scarcity of these stores in existence, but I haven’t seen them. Then again, maybe it’s because I rely on my computer, creativity, writing and graphic design skills to make my own greeting cards. It’s a good way to really personalize a card, save money and not look like a miser.
I do not think you can go wrong with buying adult novelties as a gift. But if a guy buys a lingerie ensemble for his girlfriend, I think that hold with it selfish connotations. Even though you are buying clothing for her, you are doing so with the expectation of getting pleasure out of it. If she’s very much into pleasing her man, she won’t mind the gift and won’t think anything of it, but another woman might be slightly offended by the selfish motives. I am noticing more people buying gift cards simply because they are the most practical kind of gift. It’s not exactly a romantic gift, but hey, it is practical and you can’t go wrong.
In order to execute point number two, and send the message that the relationship is purely a physical and sexual affair, I think any adult novelty will do the trick. You could buy the ubiquitous eatable underwear or a set of erotic massage oils or the female’s favorite, Victorias Secret lingerie or a cute shirt or sexy shorts or underwear from the Hustler store. The only thing you may want to stay away from is a vibrator because that may send the message that she should dump you and enjoy herself. If you do buy a vibrating apparatus to enhance your sex life, just present it to her while you are about to have intercourse.
I think this is great news that you are giving these guys out there gift ideas for their girls, and the fact that you are laying out what they should by at certain stages in the relationship is awesome. I don’t think that it should be this difficult though. In all honesty girls are really easy to please and not very often do they see more into a gift then what there is. So I don’t think that you guys out there should stress so much over something so simple. My advice to you all would be to just go with your gut and get your girl what you want to, she will love it and you will most likely reap the benefits. Your article will serve it’s purpose I’m sure and there will be lots of happy girls this holiday season.
I never thought about it before but the way you have it laid out makes a lot of sense, you don’t want them to think that you are getting to serious to fast so the different stages you pointed out are great. The sexy gift though might be considered presumptuous though right you don’t want them to think that you expect something from them. You did a great job coming up with timeline.
I have never thought that gift buying for women was this difficult. I never put this much thought into it really so I guess my gifts were always just kind of generic. But the ladies I bought gifts for were never disappointed. I will definitely take this into consideration this year, thank you.
Correct me if I’m wrong, but only in the last 10 or 15 years have retailers made up so many official shopping days as a call to action for consumers to get them out to the stores. I remember there used to be only black Friday. Now you got Cyber Monday, Super Saturday (which just passed) and I expect more of these official shopping days to become annual traditions. Speaking of tradition, the ideas in this article are anything but traditional. And I think that’s great. We need creative ideas for gifts.