Here is a great question that most men do NOT know the answer to. Do you?
The question: “What is SEXUAL TENSION?”
To most men, the words “Sexual Tension” are something they have…heard of. They just don’t make sense. In other words, some guys think that the words Sexual Tension mean “negative anxiety about sex” or something equally unhelpful.
But, if you go ask a bunch of WOMEN what the phrase mean, you’ll get a MUCH different answer. Women know what Sexual Tension is. To a woman, Sexual Tension is the feeling that she gets during those times when she is interacting with a man that she feels ATTRACTION for… but she doesn’t know exactly what’s going to happen. It anticipation and desire all rolled into one.
Maybe she doesn’t know if he’s into her, but the interaction is so good that something MUST be happening…Maybe he’s making her laugh a little bit “too much”, and she cannot control her feelings towards him…Or maybe it’s obvious that he’s attracted, but he’s so in control of himself and the situation that he’s not letting on and she’s on the edge of her seat waiting to know what’s going to happen.
These are all possible examples of Sexual Tension. With that, let me see if I can take you behind the scenes and give you a different perspective with a few dating tips mixed in there.
Men and women have different ideas when it comes to ATTRACTION. Men have their “attraction mechanisms” which are “triggered” by much different things than women. For women, things usually begin with a small spark. Sustained and “meaningful” eye contact, a Cocky Comedy jibe, a teasing remark.
It can really be anything. The point is that SOMETHING SPARKS the ATTRACTION. Then it flourishes. It doesn’t have to take a lot of time, but it does usually require time. It might take an hour, or it might take a couple dates… but if a guy does all the right things he can fan one these little sparks of attraction into a powerful flame for a woman… that is too much for her to resist.
Ok, so on to Sexual Tension…
What you need to realize is that if you can do this, women will LOVE you for it. (Hint hint: that was a DATING TIP!)
Women, and especially ATTRACTIVE women who are hit on all the time by loser guys, don’t enjoy dating guys who are boring, humdrum, and LOSERS. They love guys who are erratic, mysterious, and stimulating. They love guys who keep them guessing what’s going to happen next. And they love guys who can keep the TENSION BUILDING, and NOT LET UP.
Dating Tip 1) TEASE her.
If you want to INSTANTLY change the way a hot, nose-in-the-air woman is behaving, TEASE HER about something. Now, of course, not all beautiful women are stuck up. I know. But, teasing works PARTICULARLY well when a woman IS stuck up… lol. Maybe it’s her huge purse. Or her stiletto heels. Or the way she swings her ass when she walks. Whatever. Just tease her.
Say, “Hey, what’s with the diaper bag? You’re not one of those women with a Chihuahua named “Fluffy” in there, along with $20 a pop doggy treats for when she’s in the mood to be pampered, are you?” It doesn’t matter. Just say something to tease her. And by the way – dork – do it with a straight face!
Dating Tip 2) EYE CONTACT
When a man and a woman make eye contact for the FIRST TIME, did you know it’s USUALLY the man who looks away first? Men are WUSSIES when it comes to doing things that say “I’m a strong, confident person”. Looking away when you make eye contact with a woman is one of those things. BIG TIME. Instead, HOLD her gaze until SHE looks away – without squirming – it will send a strong signal.
Dating Tip 3) ROLE PLAY
Often an opportunity will come up when you’re meeting a woman where you’ll want to instantly shift into a “roll play”. Maybe she mentions that she’s getting a new job. Tell her that you sure hope it pays well, because she’s going to have to support both of you…And then tell her that you hope she has enough energy to cook at night after work, because you need a woman who can bring home the bacon, AND fry it up without burning it…
Then after that – tell her that something she just said screwed it all up for you, and that you’re probably going to wind up divorcing her a week after you get married… and taking half of HER money. Roll playing is fun, and if it’s done right it can REALLY spark this tension that we’re talking about. The point is that you have to SPARK it.
YOU must lead the way, and YOU must do something to create that little moment where things transition into “we’re playing like adults”. Women feel this, and respond to it INSTANTLY.
Now, on to how to turn UP the TENSION.
Once you’ve sparked this tension and engaged her into an interesting banter, it’s time to DIAL UP THE TENSION. That’s right, I said, CREATE MORE TENSION.
Let’s say that you were telling her that she has to make all the money and support you, and she answered with, “Well, I can support you, but you’re going to have to do all the laundry, dishes, and take care of the kids”.
Most guys would be thinking to themselves “Cool, she’s having fun with me, I’ll say something to make her like me now”. So they’d say, “OK, I can do that” or something equally stupid.
This is the place to TURN IT UP. Say, “No way. I’m the man here. I get to lie around on the couch all day watching TV and then when you finally get home from work, I get to take a break and go out with the guys”. Reversing gender stereotypes like this, and teasing is all kinds of fun.
At this point the woman might open her mouth with the “Oh no you didn’t just say that” look. Of course, you should look back at her, raise your eyebrows, and slowly nod your head, as if to imply “Oh yes, you’re going to support me”.
This is just one example.
Here are a few more, just so you really “get” what it is that I’m saying.
1) DON’T take advantage of something.
Let’s say that the woman you’re flirting with is wearing a sexy getup. She gets up and walks across the room. Don’t fall for it – she KNOWS that you’re going to be watching her. BUT YOU DON’T. When she turns around to come back, you’re looking down at your socks, and commenting about what great taste you have.
THIS IS SUBTLE, BUT POWERFUL.
Not taking advantage of a look, a touch, a kiss, etc. when it’s available DIALS UP the Sexual Tension.
2) Push her away.
Let’s say that you have your first kiss. PUSH HER AWAY gently just before the kiss “should” be finished. Shake your head. Say, “you’re trouble”.
TENSION BUILDS.
3) End interactions first. If you’re talking to her on the phone, and you’re both enjoying the conversation, say, “OK, I’ve got things to do. See ya.” And HANG UP!
This is POWERFUL.
Not only are you ending a great conversation when it was on an UP note, but you’re also not trying to get anything from her. Most guys cling and stay on the phone forever, then ask for a date or if they can call later.
DON’T DO IT.
Just get off the phone. If it’s the end of the date, leave just a little bit too soon. The point is to create TENSION in the moment.
Being aware of what creates sexual tension is a great way to take the date you are on and MAKE IT go your way. It puts you – the ALPHA MAN – in charge of her, and SHE WILL LOVE IT.
