It’s been said that you never truly know a person until you’ve lived with them for a few years. Many relationships start out on seemingly good footing until, some time down the road, the bumps appear. Suddenly, you realize you partner is no longer who you fell in love with. These problems occur all of the time, which may explain why America’s divorce rate is at a staggering 60 percent, with an average marriage length of ten years or less. Fortunately, there are ways you can identify an unhealthy relationship and act before things get too out of hand.
Trust Issues
Trust is a key component of a healthy relationship. When your partner behaves suspiciously for no good reason, lies to you or invades your privacy, there is a problem with trust. This can take the form of interrogating you after going out with friends, skimming through your emails, browsing history and phone records and making baseless accusations. On the other hand, if your partner exhibits shifty behavior, has frequent unaccountable absences or appears to be hiding something, you have every right to be distrustful.
Controlling
Controlling behavior is often deeply rooted in insecurity and inevitably breeds problems. Even when people are in a relationship, they require some level of independence. If someone shows a desire to control who your friends are, how you dress, what you do online, where you work, how to spend your money or otherwise tells you what to do, it’s a big neon sign indicating an emotionally abusive relationship.
Problems With Anger
All couples fight and argue occasionally, but when someone gets angry frequently and at the drop of a hat, it’s something to be wary of. You can tell this is a problem when you constantly feel like you’re dreading the next outburst. You may even find yourself altering your opinions, habits and actions just to prevent conflicts. Anger issues are especially problematic because they’re often a prelude to physical abuse.
Threatening or Violent Behavior
Even if they’ve never acted on it, if your partner has made threats toward your life or safety, it’s critical that you end the relationship. Physical abuse doesn’t usually happen right away. Stay alert for signs of impending violence from your partner such as throwing or breaking items, grabbing or restraining you or using violent gestures meant to provoke fear.
No relationship is perfect, and they all have their hard times. However, for the sake of your own happiness and safety, you owe it to yourself to know when things in a relationship are unacceptable or dangerous.