This is an excerpt from David DeAngelo.

This month I had the pleasure of interviewing a gentleman named Scot McKay.

In the interview, Scot McKay shared great dating tips for guys that any guy can use…such as how to come across as a more MASCULINE man, how to approach women without fear… and an absolutely KILLER first “date” strategy to not only bring a woman back to your place in a smooth, effortless way… but virtually guarantee things will get “hot and heavy” before the night’s through…

And that’s not all. Here are a few more of the killer tips he shared…
1. Deserve The Best
Scot McKay shared some true Inner Game gems… and one of them was the idea that if you want to have a tremendous level of success with women and dating, you have to become the kind of guy who DESERVES that level of success.

Ask yourself, “What’s it going to take to DESERVE the kind of woman I really want?”

That simple – but powerful – idea means you never feel “lucky” that you’ve landed a particular woman.  When you deserve the woman you want, there’s no “luck” to you getting her. You attracted her because you became the guy who DESERVES her.

A mentor of mine once told me that if you don’t feel you deserve to get something, you’ll push away the very thing you want.

In terms of dating women, if attracted to a woman but deep down inside you don’t feel you deserve her, you’ll unconsciously push her away… by acting clingy, needy, nervous, unnatural and “stilted”, and a host of other behaviors that’ll make her want to RUN away from you.

When you have a hole like this in your inner game, it’s next to impossible to cover it up.

She’ll see it, and she’ll leave. Trust me.

Figure out the kind of woman you want, and then see if there are any areas of your life you need to work on so that you feel that you DESERVE to get her.

As you know, I’m not talking here about making more money… I’m talking about things like having more integrity, being more authentic, becoming a more interesting guy, broadening your sphere of influence, and all around becoming a more mature and developed man.

Do these things for YOURSELF… and women will notice.  Check out the program Scot McKay made about this – called Deserve What You Want.

2. Beef Up Your Masculinity
Scot McKay says that one of the most important factors in succeeding with women is being a masculine guy.

Unfortunately, a lot of us guys live in cultures that have been “feminized” and that have brainwashed us with the message that everything masculine is bad… that men are jerks and jerks are bad… etc.

Many guys buy into this… and it paralyzes them when it comes to women.

Also, a lot of guys in recent years have been raised mostly by their moms who taught them to be “nice”.  So they grow up with the unconscious belief that natural, male behavior is something they shouldn’t show.

So there’s the problem, according to Scot McKay – women are attracted to masculine behavior, but we’re trained that masculine behavior is bad… and then we wonder why we can’t attract women…

In the words of my good friend Richard, we’re “all hosed up”… unless we do something about it.  The first thing that we need to do is get a handle on what it means to be masculine.  Many guys have a warped view of this, and confuse it with being a jerk… or puffing out their chest and trying to act tough or “cool”.

Or instead of pulling out a chair for a woman graciously, they think being masculine means telling the woman, “You sit here,” and they miss the nuance completely.  There are plenty of ways to be masculine without looking like a moron or being a jerk, and Scot McKay shared a couple that I recommend you use…

He said that a lot of guys confuse being chivalrous with kissing up to a woman…

If the reason you’re being chivalrous is to win her approval, then yes you are kissing up and you need to stop that immediately.  But you can be chivalrous not because you want to impress her, but because you’re simply expressing the masculine side of you that likes to LEAD.  WOMEN LOVE THAT!

For example, when Scot McKay pulls a chair out for a woman he pats the back of it and says, “Here’s your seat.”

He’s LEADING. He’s not coming from a place of “Oh, you’re so beautiful, let me serve you.”  There’s a BIG difference.

When he has a woman in his car he doesn’t say, “Wow, you’re really pretty and I just want to serve you. What’s your favorite restaurant? Can I take you there?”  No. Instead he says “Hey look, I’ve got this evening handled for you.”

And… surprise, surprise… women LOVE IT.

I believe one of the symbols of being a mature, masculine man is becoming a PROTECTOR of those who need protection.  Not a jack-ass trying to start fights or acting like a macho punk – a PROTECTOR when a woman needs PROTECTION.

Scot McKay explains that it’s not that you’re a protector because you’re insecure and you’re trying to pretend that you’re confident and a leader, but it’s because that a man protecting is part of your natural role with your family, loved ones, etc.

Scot McKay also suggests that you develop some masculine pastimes and hobbies.

So instead of attending your quiche-baking class this week, try getting in a good workout or playing some sports with your friends.

You might actually enjoy it…

3. Approach Women Confidently
Most guys want to be able to approach an attractive woman confidently. But by the time they get up the nerve to approach at all, they are usually so nervous that they come across as “creepy” or weird.

Usually both.

Not good.

Scot McKay shared a fantastic story that suggests a solution to this universal problem…

He was in a department store once when he saw a woman who was a friend of his then-girlfriend…

This friend was very attractive.

He felt obliged to say hi to her, so he walked up, touched her lightly on the shoulder, and said “Hey, how’s it going?”

She turned around, and with a big smile said, “Oh, hey, how are you doing?”

Scot obviously had no interest in this woman – she was a good friend of his girlfriend… she was even married…

But as they talked, he could see that she was beginning to invade his 18 inches of space. She got closer and closer, and she gave those classic signals that communicate she had more than just friendly interest in Scot.

It was ON.

He was just being friendly, but the situation was heating up a little more than he was comfortable with.  He decided to be the bigger man and bail… so he told her it was nice seeing her and that he’d tell his girlfriend that she said hi.

The woman looked at Scot McKay, puzzled, and said, “What are you talking about?”

Now Scot McKay was the one who was puzzled. He said, “Aren’t you Jennifer?”

She said, “Umm… no.”

That’s when Scot McKay realized this woman WASN’T his girlfriend’s friend.

And that’s when he had his “a-ha” realization…

Here was a very attractive woman who he had never met before, who was 5 inches taller than Scot… and he wasn’t dressed up at all or even in the mindset of meeting women… and yet she was DEFINITLEY interested in him.

And that was the secret…

Because he wasn’t trying to pick her up, he had no fear of walking up, tapping her on the shoulder, and starting a normal, relaxed conversation.

He was perfectly confident because he didn’t see it as a pick-up situation.

That’s what attracted this woman so powerfully.

Work on seeing these situations not as you trying to pick up a woman… but as just casual and natural interactions between two adults.

And here’s one other thing to remember –

When you first start talking to a woman you’ve never met before, there can sometimes be a few moments of discomfort…

When I first noticed this with a woman I was talking to, I thought it was a signal that the woman wasn’t interested in me…but then as I thought about it… I began to realize something important…

The reality is that there’s a difference between a woman giving you the “I don’t want to talk to you, please leave now,” and a woman thinking “I’m just a little shy and nervous and I’m a bit startled that there’s a guy talking to me.”

The key is to just KEEP ROLLING. Don’t turn into a scared little wussy boy and walk away. Keep on talking, and both of you will start to feel comfortable before you know it.

By just rolling with it, you’ll demonstrate that you’re a masculine guy who’s comfortable in his own skin… and that alone will make it much more likely that she’ll warm up to you.

4. Use Shorter Than Average Height To Your Advantage
A lot of guys who are shorter than average height let that stop them from having the success with women they want.

Whether it’s height… or age… or lack of wealth… or whatever… it’s easy for some men to use these facts as an EXCUSE for not going out there and really doing what it takes to have phenomenal success with women.

And when it comes to height, there’s a lot of pressure on guys to be tall. Not just average, but TALL.

Family members say, “Eat all your veggies so you grow up nice and tall.”

Years later, you go online and you find that many women in their profiles say, “You must be at least 6 feet tall.”

But the fact is, there are plenty of guys who are shorter than average who have PLENTY of quality women in their lives.

For example… take Scot McKay.

He’s 5’ 6” but attracts more women than most tall guys you know (trust me).

And get this:

SEVERAL of the women he’s dated have said in the past that they would never date a guy under 6 foot tall!

Here’s the point:

Women will date shorter guys if you’re confident, interesting, mature, and masculine… whether they are taller than you or not.

Scot McKay shared some interesting thoughts on the psychology of shorter women…

The fact is that many women are just as self-conscious about their height as men are.

The average woman in the U.S. is 5’ 5”… yet open any woman’s fashion magazine, or watch most any T.V. commercial, and you’ll see women who are 5’ 10”… or even taller.

There’s a lot of pressure for women to live up to this standard… that’s why you see shorter women wearing 3 inch heels even if they’re just out on a Saturday afternoon grocery shopping.

But when a shorter than average woman is with a shorter than average guy, often she loves it – she can relax and let go of her self-consciousness about her height because she’s dealing with a man who’s in the same boat.

She doesn’t have to pretend to be someone she’s not.

That’s a real advantage shorter guys have over taller guys when dealing with a shorter than average woman.

And here’s one other nugget Scot McKay shared on the topic of shorter women…

Have you ever seen a short woman and a tall guy hug?

She has to stand on her toes… and he has to bend down in an awkward way that’s begging for a trip to the chiropractor.

Here’s how to use this to your advantage:

If you’re with a shorter woman, give her a nice long hug, and as you let go tell her, “Wow, it’s like we fit.”

This one statement – Scot McKay calls it the “puzzle piece factor” –has just the right sexual overtones, and calls attention to the fact that here’s something that a shorter than average guy can give you that a taller guy can NEVER do.

Talk about a golden nugget…

5. On Younger Women
Many men who are between 35 and 55 years old think that the ultimate prize is to end up with a woman who is in her twenties.

Most guys want younger women like this because they get caught up in going after eye-candy.

Don’t get me wrong… attractive, young women are great…but if you’re not careful you’ll get distracted by the “wrapping” and you’ll be very disappointed when you go deeper.

Once you date younger women, you’ll find that many times it’s a lot more like baby-sitting than you imagined – it can be hard to relate, they’re often immature, have less life experience and different goals than you.

You may want to enjoy some good food and wine at home…and she may want to stay out until 3 am dancing at clubs.

Or who knows… she may WORK as a dancer in a club…(which is, of course, a whole ‘nother level of “head case”…)

Instead of being sucked into the image of a younger woman, Scot McKay suggests you may be better off dating a woman closer to your own age… but who’s young on the INSIDE – a woman who has a zest for life and a sense of adventure… and yet has a great job, a good credit score, and who you can actually relate to.

Try it out.

6. How To Identify A Quality Woman
One area Scot McKay has done a lot of thinking on is how to identify and attract not just any woman, but a QUALITY woman.

He says first, you need to stop putting too much emphasis on looks.

Yes, we all want an attractive woman… but just because a woman is attractive doesn’t mean she’s QUALITY.

In fact, a lot of women who are good looking have been spoiled and ruined by their looks. Seriously.

Because they get preferential treatment they learn that they can be selfish, demanding, and immature… but that it’s “okay” because guys will still give them what they want just because of their “beauty power”.

Obviously, this isn’t the kind of QUALITY woman a mature man like you or I want.

You’ve heard it before… but if we’re talking quality here, you know that you need to be looking for traits other than beauty… like intelligence, character, confidence, charm, trustworthiness, kindness, etc.

A key is to stop asking yourself what kind of woman you would want to sleep with for a night, but what kind of woman would you want to spend a lot of time with.

Looks are great… but to attract a quality woman inside AND out, you need to look past her beauty and into the person she is on the inside.

Scot McKay also says that a lot of guys get sucked into looking for a woman that everyone ELSE would be impressed by.

You may see a guy with an exceptionally beautiful woman and think he’s got it made… but what you don’t see is how much of a controlling bitch she may be every minute of the day when they’re home alone.

Obviously, if everyone else is really impressed by her, but you’re not, then you’ve made a big mistake of who you chose.

Come to terms with the fact that what really turns you on and satisfies you may not be the 5’ 10” Barbie doll that most guys ogle. Maybe you like bigger women… or breast size isn’t important to you… or you like a certain race… or whatever.

YOU have to be impressed on YOUR terms.

Get comfortable with what you like… then go out and get it.

7. Make Cooking Your Secret Weapon

I’ve said it before… but being able to cook just one good meal for a woman can be your secret weapon when it comes to taking things with a woman to the next level.

Scot McKay agrees with me here, and he shared some interesting thoughts of his own.

First of all, if you can cook you should throw it in your online profile.

In Scot McKay’s profile he says, “I’m an outstanding cook, and if you think you are also, how about an iron chef battle in my kitchen?”

MANY women have emailed him and have taken him up on his offer.

Many.

And if a woman says on her own profile that she likes to cook, Scot McKay will say “You say you know how to cook, so let’s prove it over at my house.”

Again, many women will respond to this.

If you’re going to cook for a woman, don’t worry about cooking up some fancy, complicated dish. There are plenty of fool-proof recipes you can find online.

Ask her if she’s allergic to any food, use fresh ingredients, and you’ll probably knock her socks off.

Plus, she’s in your house… which is a much more comfortable and intimate environment than being out on the town somewhere.

After you finish eating, Scot McKay says most women are expecting – and half dreading – that you’re going to put your paws all over her.

That’s when Scot McKay suggests you do something TOTALLY unexpected… and something that’ll dial up the attraction big time…

You do the DISHES.

That’s right.

And Scot McKay says it works like MAGIC.

Here’s how it works –

When you finish eating, tell her it’s time that the two of you do the dishes. If she looks at you funny, give her a look of total confidence and tell her in a playful way that it’s her turn to do her part.

You rinse off the dishes and have her dry them or put them in the dishwasher.

Think about it:

You’re standing side by side… brushing against each other…she’s expecting you to make a move on her… but you’re NOT.

This will drive her CRAZY.

Then the flirting starts.

After a few minute say something like, “If you don’t start behaving yourself, I’m going to have to splash you.”

Once the splashing starts, kissing will be almost automatic…

I hope you enjoyed this interview with Scot McKay as much as I did…
he shared some real gems.

If you haven’t already, listen to it several times, write down 3 of your favorite ideas, and put them into action IMMEDIATELY.

I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

This is an excerpt from a monthly interview series installment that David Deangelo did with the famous Patty Contenta.   Patty Contenta and David Deangelo focused on one of my all-time favorite topics – “Sexual Body Language”.

Have you ever thought that if you just knew the right “words” to say to a woman, that you would have no problem “picking her up”?   If so, you’re not alone. In fact, this is exactly what I used to think.    I used to think that if I could just learn the right “lines” and “techniques”, everything else would just fall into place.   Body Language never even crossed my mind.

I have another question for you…

Have you ever approached a woman with what you thought was a good “line”… or with something “polite”… and had her totally blow you off?   Well, this may come as a surprise, but there’s a very good  chance that she made the decision to reject you BEFORE YOU  EVEN OPENED YOUR MOUTH.

Patty Contenta tells us that attractive women get hit on by men day in and day out.  It NEVER stops.  They are practically forced to develop ways to size men up FAST.  Men are always stopping women – the attractive  ones – to try and lay a line down.  But body language just happens to be the easiest and the MOST ACCURATE way for them to disqualify guys who don’t “get it” without ever even having to talk to them.

That said… developing powerful, masculine body language is one of the most important things you’ll ever do to improve your game, according to Patty Contenta.  If you want to make a woman feel comfortable and open to talking to you, you must learn to physically communicate to her that you are the type of man she is looking for BEFORE you meet her.

And if you want to make a woman feel powerful sexual attraction for you, you must learn to project the physical signals that women can’t help but respond to you.   So here’s exactly what you need to do to transform your communication and start speaking to women in a way that most

men will NEVER figure out…

1. Patty Contenta says …“Un-Train” Yourself And Eliminate All Of The Things That You’re Doing Wrong…

If you really want to become a master of sexual body language, it’s not enough to simply learn the “right moves”. You also need to eliminate what you’re doing wrong.   Remember, women are at least TEN TIMES better at reading and interpreting subtle communication than men. Even if you’re doing a lot of things right, one small “tick” will give her that feeling that “something isn’t right”. You need to be absolutely sure that everything you do “fits”.

So how do you do that?

2. Become Constantly Aware Of What Your Body Is Doing

Good body language isn’t something you just “turn on” when you are talking to a woman.  It’s important that you internalize it and make it a part of you.   When you’re first learning this stuff, you need to be paying attention to your body language ALL THE TIME.  Start paying attention to EVERYTHING… where you place your hands when you are sitting, the way your feet are facing when you’re standing, the speed and precision of your movements, the way you walk, the way you blink, and even the way you breathe.

Patty Contenta says simply opening your eyes to what your body is doing will give you some great insights on improving it.

3. Align Yourself For Success

The most important thing that great non-verbal communicators do to project masculine confidence and power is something most do unconsciously.   Patty Contenta says the good news is that you can easily learn it and duplicate their success.   The key is to ALIGN YOURSELF so that every part of your

body is completely congruent with one another.

When standing, keep your feet a little bit more than shoulder-width apart. Make sure to balance your weight firmly across the entire length of your feet.   Now, put your shoulders back and lift your chest up towards the sky.   Put your chin up, and with each hand, touch your thumb to your forefinger to align the muscles in your arms.

Doing this forces you into what Patty Contenta calls a “centered” position, and causes positive sexual energy to flow throughout your body. And believe me… women will take notice.

You can use this same technique of aligning yourself when you are sitting down, leaning up against a wall, or walking down the street.

Ok, homework time…

Go out and grab the movie “Swingers”, and pay close attention to the character played by Vince Vaughan.   Watch how he stands, how he sits, and how he moves.  Notice how every detail of his body language is completely congruent.   As you walk around town today, PRETEND YOU ARE

HIM. (I know this sounds silly… but trust me).   Focus on keeping yourself centered and aligned.

Watch the reactions you get from women and every one else. I think you’ll be surprised at just how much of a difference this stuff makes.

4. Lead From Your Hips

In this interview, Patty Contenta talked about a simple secret that was a HUGE “ah ha” for me when she first shared it at my Mastery Program.   This secret is something that will instantly improve your body

language, and cause women to notice you wherever you go.   The best part about it is that it’s incredibly easy to learn and use.

The secret is to “lead from your hips” when you are walking.

Most men move forward with their chest or their head leading the way. When you lead from your hips, it subtly communicates a sexual awareness that women are BIOLOGICALLY PROGRAMMED to notice.    Simply put, doing just this one thing will have a massive effect on the way women look at you… even if you change nothing  else in your game.   Just pretend as if there is a giant string tied to your belt that  is gently pulling you along as you are walking.

It really is that easy. The tricky part is simply  REMEMBERING to do it until you internalize it and it becomes  second nature.    So tie a string around your finger, or write a note to yourself  backwards on your forehead so you can read it when you look in the mirror.   It’s THAT important.   Implement it into your LIFE!

5. Lift Your Chest

In this interview, Patty Contenta also talked about ANOTHER “goldmine” move that is easy to learn and will improve your body language  INSTANTLY.

A while ago I was fortunate to have a gentleman write in to me that happened to coach professional musicians and singers.   He shared with me a secret used by professional singers to powerfully amplify their voices to completely fill up a room.   As it turns out, you can use this secret to massively and  INSTANTLY improve your body language.  Patty Contenta tells David D, ” I really wish I would have thought of this one… that secret is to “lift” your chest.”

When you lift your chest towards the sky, it practically forces you to align your body into a powerfully masculine position.   You can do this whether you’re sitting, standing, or walking.   In fact, this really is an instant cure that you can use anytime you aren’t sure of how to position yourself.

Since this gentleman first shared this technique with me, I’ve personally incorporated it into everything I do, and it’s a proven winner.   I can tell you from experience that when you are learning how  to be successful with women, there are very few “quick fixes”. In  99% of cases, simply learning a great “pick up line” or technique will get you nowhere.   Well, this is one of those VERY RARE exceptions. Use it!

6. Make Her Earn It

When most guys are around women, they make the big mistake of physically “leaning in”. This subtly communicates to a  woman that you want her… and that SHE—not YOU—is in charge.  According to Patty Contenta, this is an ATTRACTION KILLER.

TOTALLY not good.

It’s FAR more effective to lean back a bit and make her come to you. This accomplishes three VERY important things:

1. It makes her feel comfortable with talking to you because you are not crowding into her personal space.

2. It completely separates you from every other guy she’s met, and let’s her know RIGHT AWAY that there is something different about you.

3. It creates a HUGE challenge by subtly forcing HER to come to YOU… and sets up the frame that YOU are the selector and SHE is the pursuer right from the start.

The same holds true in how you orient the way you are facing when talking to a woman.   If you immediately turn to face her while she is facing even  slightly away, then YOU are framed as the pursuer.  On the other hand, if you approach her WITHOUT facing her  directly, and let her be the one to position her body towards you, it says all the right things, and starts the interaction off right.

Patty Contenta indicates these two things are the secrets every “natural” uses to have woman chasing him from the start. Start paying very close attention to this stuff when you’re interacting with women. It will be second nature for you before you know it.

7. Show Her That You Are Sexually Aware

If you can master the subtle ways to show a woman that you are sexually aware and experienced WITHOUT saying anything, women will become turned on simply by being around you.   One of the biggest indicators women use to size up a man’s sexual experience is the way he touches HIMSELF.

Here are a few things you can do to let a woman know that you know exactly what you’re doing:

1. Every once in awhile, briefly caress your own chest or neck as you are talking to her
2. If you find yourself talking to a woman and you are both sitting down, rest one hand on your inner thigh near (but not touching) your crotch

3. Look intensely in her eyes, and then look away

4. Eliminate all “fidgety” movements and nervous “ticks”

Learning sexual body language might be the simplest thing you can do to improve your ability to make women feel attraction for you.

It’s also one of the most important. This is one of few “easy fixes” that will get you huge results. Like I mentioned before, the only hard part here is REMEMBERING what to do and making a conscious effort to do it.

According to Patty Contenta, you need to make a commitment to yourself right now that you will take the time and effort it takes to master this skill. Listen to Patty Contenta’s interview over and over again until every word is burned into your  brain. There is a TON of terrific and HIGHLY IMPORTANT subtle points in there, and when you master all of them, you’ll be amazed at just how powerfully women respond to you.

And I’ll talk to you again soon.

Your Friend,

David D.

QUESTION:

Hi Mate…

From the Land Down-under… I think we’ll just call you “Son of Croc Dundee.”

Here’s an interesting observation, a success story and a question.

The observation.

In the late eighties/ early nineties at the height of the feminist “revolution” in Oz there was a constant refrain from women … “Where have all the men gone?” It was in the media, and women spoke about this ‘ailment’ continually. Well the short answer to this question is that they (the women) had neutered them (the men) … or rather the men had allowed themselves to be neutered.

What you’re doing here is important. Single handed you’re giving men back their self respect.

The success story.

I ran a version of that personal ad. The phone didn’t stop running hot for two weeks. If I had wings I would fly. I might do it anyway.

The question.

Looking back on my two most recent (didn’t work out) relationships that were pre “Son of Croc Dundee” I noticed a pattern. The ‘didn’t work out’ part happened when I was under some pressure and the wimpy part of me emerged.

Now… everyone has problems, and I’m usually strong enough to handle them. However, within the law of the “Son of Croc Dundee” should you never be “weak”? Hard call for a sensitive soul. What’s the balance here?

What say you Maestro?

K.

P.S. AND… to those who haven’t bought the book…Run, jump, fly, swim as fast as you can to that download page. It’ll be the best investment you’ve made since you were 13 and read that copy of Penthouse that you’d found under your Father’s bed.

>>>MY COMMENTS:

You know… you say that back in the late 80s and early 90s women were asking “Where have all the men gone?”… Well, I think that women are saying it more than EVER now.

I’m going to handle this in two parts. First I want to address your initial comments, then I’d like to answer your question. So first, your comments…

One of my best friends told me about a television show he saw that featured a woman who was talking about male/female relationship dynamics.

This woman was basically saying that a lot of men in this day and age were raised by single mothers, and that this has led to more and more men acting like, well, girly-men. And, of course, single women aren’t looking for wussy-girly-men… they’re looking for “real” men.

I personally find this idea very intriguing.

When I watched the movie “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon”…, I saw something very interesting. Part of the plot revolved around a forbidden-love relationship. It’s a common “movie” theme, and it occurs in real life often as well.

Here’s a summary…

In this movie, there was a troubled teenage girl who was arranged to be married by her family. Of course, she didn’t love the guy, and wanted to be free to find a love on her own. As it turned out, she was also secretly a super-duper martial arts bad-ass.

One day, while on a trip through the desert, her entourage was attacked by a group of bandits. The leader of the criminals was a Johnny Depp looking Asian guy. He rode up, stole her fancy hair-comb, and rode off.

Being the feisty girl that she was, she jumped on a horse and rode into the desert after the bad (but cute) boy. They wound up fighting, wrestling and beating the hell out of each other.

The long and the short of it is… he abducted her, tied her up, and hid her away in a cave. And somehow, right in the middle of it all, they began MAKING OUT.

Five years ago I would have watched this whole sequence and said, “Well, it doesn’t make any sense, but it makes for a nice story…”

But now that I understand the illogical nature of attraction and sexual chemistry, I see a totally different picture. When the cute bad-boy took off, and she rode after him and started fighting with him, there were two different levels of communication happening.

On the surface, she was chasing him to get her hair comb back.

But looking at it from a different perspective, and looking at a deeper level, SHE HAD FINALLY MET A MAN WHO WAS AN INTERESTING CHALLENGE… and she responded instantly and powerfully by feeling magnetically attracted to him in a way that caused her to leave her group behind and risk her life.

And the fighting that occurred can be seen as just plain fighting… or, if you understand male-female dynamics, you can also see that on a different level they were FLIRTING. The tension that was building between them was also SEXUAL tension.

She had finally met “a real man”, and she responded powerfully to him.

Not long after they fell for each other, the bad-boy started to say some downright sensitive things (I don’t think he’s read my book). He was telling romantic stories about shooting stars, and he risked his life to be with her again… and confessed his love, etc.

This is a round-about way of addressing your comments and answering your question, but this story helps me to put my answers in perspective.

As far as being “a real man” goes, I think that it’s a good idea. Women respond powerfully to “male-ness”. If it is expressed in a powerful way, it can create an amazing attraction inside of a woman. As you’ve learned by reading my book, there are a lot of simple ways to do this.

To answer your question “Should you ever be weak?”, I say:

Most men act weak ALL THE TIME when they are in the presence of an attractive woman. This is a big problem.

If a woman sees you as a “weak man”, then trying to “be strong” will never work. You will only come across as a weak guy who’s trying to “act strong”.

On the other hand, a guy who is thought of as a “real man”… one who does not act weak during the first several interactions with a woman, can have a “weak moment” later on and actually have a woman respond in a very powerful, positive way.

In other words, if you’re perceived as a “real man”, then you can do whatever you want, and it will be perceived as part of that personality.

But if you are perceived as a “weak man”, then NOTHING you can do will trigger the strong gut- level attraction inside of a woman.

And nothing will change that picture inside of a woman’s head. Once you’re thought of as a weak, nice, ass-kissing guy, it’s like an invisible switch gets switched off inside of a woman. And it’s not coming back on anytime soon.

So, the big question is, how do you project this “real man” image? How do you be yourself while at the same time doing the things that create attraction? How do you act in an authentic way, while amplifying those parts of your personality that are most likely to trigger the attraction mechanism inside of women?

Part of the answer is to realize that just about every communication has several levels of meaning. When you tease, act cocky and funny, and bust a woman’s balls, you could viewed as being a mean jerk. Or, if you do it right you can be viewed as an interesting, sexy man.

This is a critical concept, and you need to understand it if you want to succeed with women.

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Copyright 2008 David DeAngelo Marketing Inc. David DeAngelo and Double Your Dating are trademarks.

Here is another brief crash course on being the alpha male for you guys.  Take head, and learn the alpha male system or your success with dating and women will continue to be less than what you want it to be!

I’m on my way to the supermarket the other day listening to the radio like I always do.  I’m singing along to the lyrics of Everything You Want by vertical Horizon when suddenly I have an epiphany!  Do you know the song I’m talking about?  It goes,” he is everything you want, he is everything you need… but he means nothing to you and you don’t know why”?

This is a truly amazing song if you can stop and think about what the words are really saying.  The song is describing the lifelong plight of the “nice guy”.   It’s surprising how many nice guys have problems hooking up with women.  They can’t get a date because of the simple fact that they are TOO nice – the are not the attractive alpha male.

It’s really very clear cut when you think about it.  The nice guy doesn’t get the girl BECAUSE he is a nice guy.  Since he’s a nice guy – women do not feel attracted to him.  This is the kind of man that women are friends with — not lovers.

The simplicity of it all struck me while I was listening to Everything You Want.  These nice guys are everything that women SAY they want.  They are sweet, complementary and romantic, and they probably love their families and their mothers.  But while he is everything she says she wants – she wants nothing to do with him.

What you will see is the attractive woman going out with some no brain jock that chugs beer and reads at a first grade level and treats her like a pet.  Why does the hot chick date the dumb jock?  It’s very simple — she feels attraction for him.  Why?  Because he is an alpha male!  he knows the rules of masculinity and confidence with women!  (HINT: These can be LEARNED!)

What I am NOT saying is that you should be rude or treat women like crap.  What I do want to tell you is that in order to get a date you need to create attraction with a woman from the beginning.  You need to create that attraction and fan the flames to keep it going.

So what does a single man do to accomplish this?  There are any number of things you can do, but one of my personal favorites is using a little humor combined with roguish behavior (otherwise known as Cocky Comedy).  In other words – you need to bust her balls and keep her on her toes at all times.  She needs to NOT know what you might do next in order to keep her from being able to tell if her charms are working on you.

Nice guys are the first to let women know they are attracted to them by giving them compliments, buying them drinks and generally treating her like a queen.  But what this does is it kills the attraction because it kills the game for a woman.  The dumb jock is not going to let her know how much he wants her or how attracted he is.  He is going to make her be the one to vie for his attention.  That, my friend, is what will get you the girl.  That is the first step in becoming a truly confident alpha male.

Keep these words in mind if you’re that unlucky nice guy.  Keep the lyrics in mind and remember to quit being the man she thinks she wants and start being the man you know she wants.

Many people have a misconception about being an Alpha Male and what that means.  They seem to think is means being a jack-ass like Biff in Back to the Future.  That is not at all what being the alpha male is about.  Let me explain.

What being the “Alpha” means is simply being the dominant male (or even the female) in a group.  The Alpha Dog or Alpha Leader is the one that is most likely to get the mate – in other words, Darwin created this, not me.  (Remember, the survival of the fittest?)

Thinking about it from a Darwinian perspective – it makes SENSE to want to be the alpha male.  If you cannot create mini-me’s at some point in your life, then your genetic line goes extinct!

So, do you think you deserve to have your genetic legacy carried on into the next generation? I hope so. And more importantly, I hope you believe so as well.

So now, you know the basics on what an alpha male is and is not.  Here are some words to describe the alpha male:

Intelligent
Motivated
Eager
Honorable
Dominant (not cruel, but demonstrating superior social skills)
Unwavering
Healthy (fit lifestyle)
Curious
Balanced
Natural

Here are a few things an Alpha is NOT:

Mean
Angry at women
Verbally, Physically, Emotionally or any other kind of abusive
Egotistical
Rude

 There seems to be some confusion (and most of it is created by other guys hoping to cash in on your confusion) about what it means to be a POWERFUL and persuasive man in today’s society.

I’m not even going to throw you more of that evolutionary stuff because it really doesn’t matter. When you think about it, it just makes sense that we want people who appear or demonstrate more social value than us. It’s because we naturally want to latch on to their power.

Again, it all comes back to power.

So being an “Alpha” doesn’t mean you’re dragging women back to a cave by the hair. Or that you’re being an asshole or a pushy loudmouthed jerk. Or that you’re being angry and shoving people around to get your way.  Or that you’re inconsiderate of others no matter how weak or strong they are. Or that you’re acting like a rutting animal.

It means that you understand ATTRACTION – and why women are attracted to men (meaning what makes a woman FEEL attraction toward a man) and that YOU are willing to be that man. Not a wussy, pushover flop that’s afraid to let women know he wants them.

You see, there are only two motivating forces in life: Desire and Fear.

That’s it. We are motivated purely by what we feel we WANT, and what we feel we most want to avoid.  Being afraid is a stronger motivator for people because it has helped us survive potentially life-threatening situations ( think about poor Cro-Magnon man facing a saber tooth tiger.  If he was an egotistical jack-ass – he would have challenged the tiger and been lunch meat.  Then the chimps would rule earth). You’re smart to fear wild animals, or large trains heading toward you. You can’t afford the luxury of analysis in these situations. A delay could cost you your life.

On the other hand, in our modern society, there isn’t much you have to fear. People actually seem to fear too much nowadays, including simple things like approaching women and conversation.  Social anxiety rules us.

What this is – is fear of LOSS.

Everyone’s favorite short wrinkly green dude, Yoda, even said it in the latest Star Wars flick… “Fear of loss leads to the dark side.”  And so it does. It leads you down a path where you never gain because you’re too afraid of losing what you have.  Even if that is an intangible thing – like a blow to the pride if she says piss off.

An Alpha Man understands that the only way to live is to wake up each morning and understand that everything you have was just given back to you with the dawn.

So, when someone tells you that being an Alpha is bad, or it’s this and that, remember that they’re trying to color your perception. They’re trying to steer you away from a path of understanding and enlightenment.  Trust your own intelligence to figure out what an Alpha Man REALLY is.

What you may not know is that he’s already inside of you. It just takes a little work to let this instinct out so that you can become the COMPLETE you.

There are a lot of guys out there who haven’t been able to open themselves up to letting out this TRUE nature inside them. They hide it behind “Politically Correct” BS about not hurting other people’s feelings, or being sensitive, or being in touch with their feminine side…ugh.

It’s really a fear to let other people see the REAL you. The man that wants to have power. The man that wants virile women in his life. The man that wants tangible success. The man that wants power over the forces of life that seem to control him.

Forget about all this “Alpha” talk and just open your mind up to finding this part of you that isn’t held back by fear, and is ready to reach out for understanding that could – and will – change your life for the better.

So on one hand we have the lowly AFC, or non-Alpha. He’s a little insecure, possibly low self-esteem, but WANTS to grow and change.  He is probably shuffling his feet right now – or maybe, he is a little puffed up in the chest saying, “THAT is what I want to be when I grow up!”

So let that inner alpha out!