Attracting women is the number one thing on the minds of single men across the world. How to attract them is the biggest question – what works? Well, David DeAngelo says that women are attracted to men for certain, specific reasons. He calls it a “code” in his Double Your Dating eBook, and says, “Once you know what it is, you can develop a method to follow this sequence. You can use the fact that there is a ‘genetic mating sequence’ to help you.” (p. 48).
So what are the specific ingredients that make up this code or sequence, you ask? It boils down to being different than the other men – different in an attractive and confident way.
So here are some specific things that you can do to make yourself MORE attractive to women. After all, it’s much easier to date a woman who is already attracted to you by your behavior than to try to MAKE a woman attracted to you – which backfires with relentless accuracy. Think of it like cold calling verses selling something to someone who already WANTS your product.
First of all – you need to get rid of the neediness and insecurity in your life. WOMEN. HATE. THIS. You will not attract a woman by trying to get attention, showing off or trying to get recognition from her. In Double Your Dating, David DeAngelo says that “Insecurity and neediness are like hemlock and arsenic – either will kill your attractiveness when dealing with women” (p 49).
How do you project neediness and insecurity? Insecurity shows up when a man does not feel comfortable with who he is or comfortable in a given situation. He acts tentative, weak, and unsure. He tries to put on a show of confidence which is obviously fake. He says things that are out of place in an attempt to get approval. Women have a RADAR for this. They detect – then they AVOID.
So avoid the following behaviors:
• Hanging on a woman. Don’t touch a woman or crowd her too much in the beginning. Instead, lean back and let her become comfortable being around you.
• Talking or saying negative things about women or past girlfriends. If you talk too much about past girlfriends or other women, or say negative things about them, a woman will judge you to be insecure.
• Having emotional responses to things. If it’s obvious to a woman that you easily get upset about things, then she will judge you to be insecure or even dangerous. Women do not like tantrums, so if you throw things, scream and swear when you are mad – you are going to be even madder when she dumps you like last week’s garbage for someone a little more mature and stable.
• Looking to others to make decisions. Women like it when you decide what’s going to happen and then do it. If you are always asking, “Well, what you think I should do?”, “Where do you want to go tonight?”, and “What do you want?” you’ll come off as needy. Just make decisions and go with it. If she has a different idea, she’ll let you know.
• Saying or doing things just to be noticed or to get compliments. ‘Nuff said. Don’t do it.
• Arguing. This is my favorite. Some people feel like they need to argue with EVERYTHING. If you’re one of these people, just realize that this is a clear demonstration that you’re insecure and needy. u may always be right, but being overly argumentative is bad for your sex life. Deal with it.
So, if you can avoid these behaviors and take David DeAngelo’s advice, you will find it much easier to project a healthy, confident demeanor that women will find very attractive. Be relaxed, confident, stand straight and put your shoulders back, look her in the eye, be decisive and bust on her a bit (using Cocky Funny) and you will find that your “cold calling” days are over, and your dating life has really begun.
A friend of mine lent me a bunch of David D.’s DVDs to check out. There is a lot to say for his techniques when it comes to dating women. If nothing else, one should consider signing up for his newsletter. Who knows, you might get some. 🙂
It’s funny that as I was reading this, every one of these Don’ts’ described the tendencies of someone I know. He has always been this way, exuding the characteristics of insecurity, but it was never as blatant as it is now, after he suffered a motorcycle accident, started taking pain medications, and became obese as a result. When I first met him, he was in decent shape and rode a motorcycle, but after his weight gain, his insecurity magnified and so did those annoying traits. He is a classic personification of what David DeAngelo describes.
The traits of the guy who tries too hard is evident in many areas – even in reality TV!. I just watched an episode of millionaire match maker and there was a pushy sort of guy who epitomized an insecure guy who tried to mask his feelings of inadequacy by saying sexist things to his potential date (they were at a mixer). “I can tell you are a wild girl or intrusive and insulting innuendos like “what’s the wildest thing you’ve ever done. This was an introductory meeting and he kept pushing the conversation toward sex. I know of similar examples in my own life.
This is good advice guys. Take it from a woman reader these are some major turn offs especially the needy part. The insecurity can be worked on the emotional response if it is real can be worked on as well, the negative comments get really old especially if you are a positive person because then that causes the arguing with everything part. Take this advice to heart guys it is true.
Just to clarify a few things from a woman point of view. First I have to disagree with the statement get rid of the neediness and insecurity. There are women out there that are the nurturing type and they want a guy that will need them and women are very often insecure themselves and maybe if the guy is a little insecure her jealousy won’t be so bad. And don’t hang back to far at first or she will think you don’t want to touch her, that is a turn off as well. The talking negatively about girls or talking about ex’s is definitely a no,no. And the remainder of the points you make here I would have to agree with. But guys please don’t think that you have to be cool, aloof, and untouchable not to mention a control freak in order to attract a woman. It all depends on the kind of woman you want to attract.
As a woman I would like to clarify a few things in this post, just from my own opinion not necessarily all other women would agree. First I have to point out that getting rid of the neediness and insecurity in a guy isn’t always the best thing, hear me out here. There are women out there that are the nurturing type and they want a guy that will need them and women sometimes like it when a man is jealous over them so getting rid of their insecurity would get rid of that as well. As far as hanging back at first, don’t hang back to far or she will think you don’t want to touch her, that would turn her off of you quickly, I can just hear what she would be saying in her head, “what am I not pretty enough for him, do I smell or something, do I have something in my teeth, why doesn’t he want to touch me? and you thought guys were insecure! The talking negatively about girls or talking about ex’s is definitely a no,no. And the remainder of the tips you gave here I would have to agree with. But guys please don’t think that you have to be cool, aloof, or too strong to be touchable. It all depends on the kind of woman you want to attract. Good advice though I hope there are some guys out there that will take this to heart.