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Attracting Women – The Big 4

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Several years ago I knew a woman who had a very real problem. She couldn’t get past the second or third date with a guy without him showing up for the fourth date with a ring. Essentially, every single guy she agreed to go on a date with-pretty much without exception-fell in love, fell hard, and knew very quickly that he’d be foolish to let this woman go. So this was a rare woman indeed. And guys sensed it. They all WANTED to marry her. No “freedom loss” or “cutting their nuts off”. They DESIRED a committed relationship with this woman…and FAST.

She was beautiful, talented, fun to be around, earned a multiple six-figure income, and was of impeccable character. She seemed 21 though her chronological age was 35. And she was also humble and utterly blind to social pretense. In her mind, all she was ever doing on dates was being her smiling, affable self.

But begrudgingly, she knew she had to do what she had to do. So she did what I refer to as “Charm Throttling”. Seriously, she began to ratchet back the “shock and awe” of her overall sharpness a few notches when she started dating a guy.

Now, by no means did she change who she was at her core. Not at all. Rather, she simply held a few of the more impressive cards in her deck in reserve for a while.

When you find yourself face to face with a woman of fantastically exceptional quality, you may very well find that she behaves toward you in a similar manner. So “heads up”, there.

But I have a better reason for bringing all this up. And that is that I fully expect YOU to have to learn this lesson for yourself in the very near future, because it’s not exactly a gender specific one. You may even need to figure it out RIGHT NOW, yet you don’t even realize it yet.

Here’s the deal. Granted, the vast majority of guys out there will spend their entire lives begging for a date with even mediocre women. Of the minority that remain, most will be thrilled to end up with a great woman…ANY great woman. But just like the woman I just told you about was a rare, exquisite gem amongst a sea of women who wonder why their boyfriends (if any) hang around for years without marrying them, you have the ability to be an AMAZING MAN who stops even the sharpest women dead in their tracks.

Women actively COMPETE to WIN guys like that. And you guessed it: Those are the guys who have TOTAL CONTROL over their dating lives.

I know what you’re saying. “Scot, that’s got to be fewer than 1% of all guys.” Granted. But also remember that over 99% of all guys are too bullheaded to ask for directions. And even when guys DO ask for directions when getting better with women, they end up learning how to “pickup” strippers or something.

So simply by being here, I’d say your odds are pretty good. By even THINKING about the goal of attracting and building relationships with the world’s sharpest women, you could be in the top 1% of that 1%. And no…that’s not an overstatement.

I can count on one hand the number of men I have known in my social circle who intentionalized great success with women as such. But I know multi-millionaires, professional athletes, charismatic personalities and even really nice guys who “settled”.

So once again I’m going to appeal to your sense of ambition and greatness. I want you to BELIEVE you are capable AND ready to attract the highest quality women on Earth. And when you start putting into practice the “Big Four” I’m so fond of harping on (confidence, ability to inspire confidence, character and masculinity) you will indeed start seeing phenomenal occurrences on first and second dates. Some would call it supernatural, even.

As a man you LEAD. And women are naturally hard-wired to FOLLOW that LEAD. So the magnitude of the effect you cast upon any woman who agrees to go out on a date with you could in fact be EXPONENTIALLY greater than any amount of charm my female friend was able to enrapture guys with.

Remember, if a woman is out on a date with you, she already found you attractive. AND…you’ve got to bear in mind that who you are at your INNER CORE is what really grabs a woman by the heartstrings. So WHO YOU ARE on those first few dates is going to MAKE OR BREAK THAT.

What happens if you are “Mr. Nice Guy”, desperate, a “kiss up”, a weak decision maker, a lousy kisser (if able to pull the trigger at all), boring and/or downright creepy? Your stock plummets, that’s what. And don’t ask how many decent looking, athletic, “GQ” looking dudes I know who have women smile at them all the time…but can’t EVER move things to the second date.

But when you are a “Big Four” man, you certainly enjoy a near 100% probability that first dates will naturally turn into second dates and third dates, etc…for as long as you care to extend things. We’ve talked before about how to give a WOMAN the “JBF Talk. Get used to that.

But here’s something you’re also going to have to think about. Is it really fair to bring your “big guns” on a first date and charm a woman literally into submission? I think some of us build up our skills with women then fine-tune them to a point where we literally don’t know the power of our presence. This is a stage of development toward mastery with women that I’ve never, ever heard any other dating or seduction teacher talk about. Perhaps because it’s the “final frontier” of sorts. Could it be that the crowning achievement of being excellent with women is understanding the concept of “Charm Throttling”?

No matter what your answer to that question is, one thing’s for sure: WITHOUT IT, you are not a “master” just yet. Why? Because a “Big Four” man who unleashes the full power of his presence is bringing a bazooka to a knife fight every time he shows up for a date with a woman. Make that a NUCLEAR WEAPON. Sure, your goal is to knock a woman’s socks off. So you have your style and grooming down and you respect women even as you lead effectively.

But what happens when you can pull that off while making a woman laugh, AND while making her feel like a REAL WOMAN in your presence…all the while inspiring that warm-fuzzy “safe” feeling whenever she is around you? Well, then you have a BIG PROBLEM, pardner. That’s when you’re going to have EVERY WOMAN you go on a first date with FALLING IN LOVE with you…FAST.

Face it, and take it like a man. If you represent the “Big Four”, you represent what WOMEN WANT. And almost ZERO PERCENT of all guys can get that right. Notice I haven’t even mentioned good looks, a great education, a heavy-duty bank account or…God forbid…musical talent just yet.

Whatever you pile on to the “Big Four” is just fuel for the fire here. You can-and will-enthrall women like a “one percenter” on the “Big Four” alone.

So what’s a guy at the zenith of masculine attractiveness supposed to do? Well, like my female friend did on her dates…you’ve got to RATCHET IT BACK. If you find women are starting to SERIOUSLY try to lock you down FAST, let that be a CLEAR sign. It’s a sign that you have become ATTRACTIVE to even the sharpest women. Moreover, it’s a blatant indicator that you have COMPLETE CONTROL over your dating life. And that means, of course, that you just can’t drive that Ferrari with the pedal to the metal all the time. REALIZE that your charm will ensnare women. And back off.

Be JUST A BIT colder. JUST A BIT more reserved. HOLD BACK on the truly impressive answers you could give to her basic questions. If you feel her falling fast, DO NOT give her that ridiculous “sky is falling” kiss that will melt her in to a pool of mush. It’s just NOT FAIR to do that. Once a woman feels comfortable in your presence and her femininity has been ignited, she will want to give herself to you sexually. And once that happens under these circumstances, she’s likely got wedding bells chiming in her head. You know about “for whom the bell tolls”, right? Welcome to how even the sharpest of the sharp guys out there end up “settling”. If the woman you’re dealing with happens to have a strong personality and can “game” you like none other, plan on the Mother Of All Guilt Trips aimed squarely at keeping you roped in.

What’s the ultimate solution here? You’ve GOT to keep some if not MOST of your natural, masculine charm in reserve, and hold it for the woman you WANT to fall in love with you. Otherwise, you’re flat-out not going to be able to date multiple women effectively. Having to JBF them all after two dates because they “fell in love with you” already is decidedly NOT effective.

Remember, YOU are in charge. This means YOU should be able to manage your relationships well enough to be able to evaluate the long-term potential of the women in your life on YOUR terms.

Importantly, can you see the difference between “Charm Throttling” and being someone you’re not? We’re not talking about artificially becoming some sort of jerk, or feigning a type of weakness so as to give women pause. Not at all. Those are ridiculous ideas. Rather, this is about RESERVE. This is about opening the window of who you are JUST A BIT at a time for her. You remain AUTHENTIC and CONGRUENT to your true, ridiculously sharp self. But you have some respect for the women you are just meeting.

Now look, if you meet a woman and she can clearly handle the full impact of who you are without letting you steal her heart in two dates, then you’ve likely met your match there. That woman is NOT who I’m writing to you about today. That said, don’t be fooled by “cool girls” who seem oblivious on the outside. They can fall just as hard underneath that witty, tough-talking exterior. Most of the time, you’re going to have to take the wisdom that comes from recognizing your power as a “Big Four” man on first dates and exercise caution…and RESERVE…when you first meet women.

Can you handle that? Perhaps the better question is, “Can you BELIEVE that handling that is even an ISSUE at this time?”

Do you refuse to “settle” and choose to deserve what you want instead? If so, you’ll enjoy Scot McKay’s refreshing approach to dating and seduction.

 

 

The First Step to Attracting Women According to David DeAngelo

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What most men want out of a dating experience, according to David DeAngelo of Double Your Dating, is to attract women instead of chasing after women.  Its kind of like marketing – it’s a lot easier if you are a car salesman to sell a car to someone that comes onto your lot looking for one than it is to call someone up out of the yellow pages and try to get them to buy a car.  It just doesn’t work.  Dating and attraction work much the same way – it’s a lot easier to hook up with a girl when she is coming on to you than to try to create attraction for a girl you see and randomly find attractive.

One of the things David DeAngelo talks about all the time in the Double Your Dating series is that women are attracted to men for certain reasons (and these are really reasons beyond their control).  Figure out these reasons and meet them, and you trigger a specific internal sequence in a woman, which is related to a primordial mating sequence that we are pre-programmed to have as human beings.

One of the ways to trigger this sequence is to be attractive to a woman in a “different” way.  David DeAngelo calls this being “Different in a preferential way” (Double Your Dating, p 48).   So a great way to formulate attraction and to have the women attracted to YOU and trying to vie for YOUR attention is to understand what the elements of attraction actually are.

One of the key elements to attraction for a woman is the element of masculinity (you can read about the others in the Double Your Dating eBook in depth).  What masculinity is not: dumb jock bullying other people weaker than himself around.  Masculinity is NOT treating women like objects.  Masculinity is not bullying or being obnoxious.

Masculinity IS, however, a quiet confidence.  It is an aura about you of INTERNAL power that tells a woman you are capable and adept.  A masculine man will look people in the eye, have a firm handshake, be able to take a joke with aplomb, and be able to provide for himself and those dependent on him.
There is a lot of talk about being the “alpha male”.  Many men misconstrue that, and believe this means you have to be the ringleader like Biff on Back to the Future, picking on Marty to look cool.  No.  What it means is that you are the provider, you are the protector, you are the one RESPONSIBLE for your group.  Women can SENSE this in a man, because this used to be what determined the primordial mating sequence we talking about earlier.  Some evolutionary responses may take a backseat in modern times, but have NO doubt, my friend, they are STILL there.

So take a close look at your life and your interactions.  Think about what David DeAngelo says about being different in a “preferential” way.  Learn how to take the confidence and the lifestyle of the TRUE alpha male and apply it to your life, and watch how your interactions with women start to change in a positive way.

The Master Plan – You Were BORN To Attract Great Women

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Become The High Quality Man Women Crave With The Master Plan From Scot McKay

Lately there’s been lots of talk about “natural game”…as if all we need to do is emulate a guy who we see as a “natural”, and we’ll somehow become more attractive to women.

Now sure, having some guys who are great with women show you the ropes isn’t such a bad idea. But do we really need to copy someone else’s entire persona in order to successfully attract the kind of women we want?

Not according to Scot McKay. In fact, he has recently been saying something out loud that a lot of us as guys have been suspecting all along: We are all “naturals”. By being born male, we’re supposed to be attractive to women by our very nature.

 

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Inside the Mind of a Woman – How To Attract Her

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You know, I get a lot of dating questions from guys wondering why the heck women dress so sexy to go out, go to a bar, whatever, but then seem SO unapproachable and aloof.  It’s like she has dressed herself all up just to say, “Look, but you can’t touch!”  Have you ever felt that way?

Did you realize, though, that if you want to give dating tips for men, you have to actually learn to think like a woman?  It’s scary, man, not everyone can go there.  But I have a good therapist.

Well, from a woman’s perspective, an attractive woman does not really need to dress up to get a man’s attention.  However, it makes her FEEL good to do so, to look her best, and let’s admit it, guys – to look better than the other women there.  Sometimes you feel like you are in a lioness’ den when you walk into a place like that, where all the beautiful women are either in a group – or trying to pretend the others don’t exist.

Ok – so let’s quickly go through a couple of the real reasons women do that.

First – any woman wants to increase her assets.  She wants to be of a higher quality, in order to attract the highest quality man.  She wants that Alpha Male who can do all the right things for her – protect her, provide for her, make her feel the way she wants to feel, etc.

Second, she wants to crush the competition.  Hot women are COMPETITIVE.  They know the location of every other babe in the room, they know what she has her beat in and what the other woman posses that she wants.  It’s like a pack of she-wolves circling, except it’s all done without teeth baring and snarling.  Usually.

Third – she want to get the most attention and approval.  It’s true – they want attention – like little kids.  They look aloof and unapproachable because they are actually, underneath, insecure and don’t want to get hurt, and hoping the right man will approach them.

Do you want to be the right man?  Do you realize that choice is not made because of how you look?

Do you understand how this all has to do with basic human evolution and the need for the species to survive?

Look at it like this.  I am sure you have heard of Darwin’s theory the “survival of the fittest”.  It means the animals with the best genes reproduce.  The weak ones get killed.  The species evolves stronger and more intelligent with each generation.

So when you look at the attention an attractive woman wants, it is, in the basest of terms, her way of projecting her worthiness to carry on the genes, to be selected.  Do you see what I am getting at?  She wants to be the Alpha Female.

So if YOU, as a man, want to hook up with the Alpha Female – guess who you gotta be?  Right.  The Alpha Male.    Now, one more question.  What does the Alpha Female ALWAYS get from men?  Attention.  What does she want?  Attention.  What do you need to give her?

If you said attention, smack yourself in the head.

If you’re a beautiful woman who is always getting attention and approval from men and you meet a man who DOESN’T give you that attention and approval, it has an INSTANT and POWERFUL impact.

Furthermore, if the man you’re interacting with actively AVOIDS giving you attention… and gives you DISAPPROVAL, it can have the effect of instantly SCRAMBLING YOUR SYSTEMS.

Again, attractive women don’t meet a lot of guys that could care less about her beauty.   If you want to learn how to ATTRACT these “unusually beautiful” women, then you need to get a clue about what creates the idea in her mind that YOU are one of the most “desirable” men.

And how can you do that?  A.  Is it hitting the lottery and becoming a millionaire?  B.  Getting plastic surgery to look like John  Cena?  Or possibly learning to trigger the ATTRACTION in her?

I personally like the third one myself.  You?

Here’s the interesting thing about triggering attraction that I LOVE.  Once you do it, once you get it right, she cannot help herself.  I mean, can you?  When you are really attracted to someone, can you turn it off?  Nope.

Ok, shut up and tell me how to do this, right?  Right.  Ok- get into her head.  You are GORGEOUS, every man in there wants to buy you a drink, give you a compliment, and throw his coat on the puddle for you to walk over.  Gag.  It gets old.  So – you meet a guy who doesn’t offer you a drink.  Maybe he even asks HER to buy him a drink.  He bust on her, tells her how weird her shoes are says something like, “That is the UGLIEST DRESS I have ever seen!” in a fun and teasing way.  (Don’t spit on it or anything dude, ok?).  Have you heard of Cocky Comedy?  That’s what that basically is.

What are you?  You are not impressed by her beauty.  You are not groveling at her feet.  You are not showing her that you are attracted to her.  In fact – you are testing HER.

“Hmmmm…” she thinks.  “That’s different!”  And pretty soon, SHE starts feeling attraction toward YOU because you are showing her that you are the ALPHA MALE and you are ABOVE her.  If she wants you, she’s gotta work for it.  And she NEVER has to work for it.  So now she wants it.

Are you following me?

Good.  This is the first step toward becoming that Alpha Male that you need to be.  I can’t tell you everything there is about it in one short article, but I do have some recommendations for you for further study.  Go check out David Deangelo’s Double Your Dating eBook (Dude, it’s the best $20 you will ever spend) or his Cocky Comedy program.  These are priceless if you want to learn to beat gorgeous women at their own game.

Learn What Women REALLY Want – a REAL MAN

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Have you ever heard a woman ask the question, “Where have all the real men gone?”  I know, you want to just shake her and ask her what the HELL she is talking about, right?  Well, the thing is – it seems that this “sensitive revolution” has basically neutered the male population.

Some people attribute that to the fact that more and more men are being raised by single women.  Others say that we are all doing it to ourselves – taking everything out of life that might accidentally offend an individual’s beliefs – trying to neuter EVERYTHING (like taking “God” out of the pledge of allegiance, taking the discipline out of schools and making sure everything that we say is politically correct to name a few methods).

Whatever you believe – it’s happening.  Society is turning Namby Pamby – and the women are the ones voicing it, asking where all the real men have gone.   To try to find a REAL man, women have developed a screening process – a test, if you will, to see if a man is a real man, or a wuss in man’s clothing.

You’ll notice women doing this when they are exploring the possibility of a relationship with you – like on a first date, or when things begin to become intimate.  This is how the beautiful women separate the men from the boys.  She is trying to find out, basically, if you are an alpha male.

There are many forms tests can take, of course, but once you are familiar with a few of them, you will be able to recognize them for what they are, and PASS them.  She might ask you for a gift or something she wants.  She could act snotty or have a tantrum, to see what she can get away with, or cancel your plans without notice to see what you do.  She might even tell you that you are annoying her to see if you will change your behavior.  (By the way, I learned all this by watching David DeAngelo’s program called On Being a Man!)

Now – these things may seem small to you.  However, to a woman, they are CRITICAL.  If you fail one of these tests, she is going to do one of two things – she is going to realize you are a wuss and not a real man and will walk all over you until she gets bored with you and then she will leave, or she will just realize you are a wuss and leave then.

So – how do you pass these tests and show her you are an alpha male?  Well, let’s imagine for a moment that you are a wolf – the leader of the pack, the alpha male who gets ALL the females in the pack.  If a female wolf came up tot eh alpha male and said, “Buy me this pretty trinket and I will give you the night of your life…” – what do you think he would do?  Would he go running off to the nearest wolf jewelry store and buy it?  Or would he laugh and say “Are you serious???  I hope not, because if you have not noticed, there are plenty of females in this pack besides you.”

Or, say for instance, one of the female wolves tells the alpha male that she is annoyed by something he does.  Does the alpha wolf say “OMG I am SO sorry!  I won’t EVER do that again!”   (I actually can see David DeAngelo cringing at that, sorry man!)  Uhhhhh – NO.  He will give her a playful smile and say, “Oh REALLY?” – and then he will do it again just to show her that she is not the alpha – HE IS.

And guys – this is IMPORTANT.  Women talk about Prince Charming – how they just KNOW he is out there and what all he will do for them.  But did you ever notice that Prince Charming has to know how to fight, how to keep the kingdom running, sweep her off her feet and take her to a destination of HIS choosing?  Prince Charming does not ask the Princess if she would like to be rescued today.  He takes charge and DOES IT, and she will follow.  If you want to learn more about being an alpha male, then take a look at David DeAngelo’s program, On Being a Man, and start giving women what they really want.