By David DeAngelo
Hey David Deangelo!
I was wondering if you could offer any wisdom on what you’ve gained from writing and responding to online personal ads. I’m not having a great deal of luck so far. Specifically, my questions are:
1. How brief should your descriptions of yourself and/or your ideal catch be? I’ve heard it said that “brevity is the soul of wit”, but you also want to be memorable, right?
2. When writing profiles, should you stick with Cocky Comedy techniques? I’ve noticed that humor often doesn’t translate well in written form, so I wasn’t sure how to go about all that.
3. I think I read in a previous newsletter that you recommend not posting a picture. At the same time, I tend to avoid ads without pictures due to having one too many blind dates which ended with me throwing a stick and shouting “fetch!” in order to distract her long enough to get away. Don’t you think that by committing a picture on your ad, women might pass you up for the same reason? Or am I mistaken?
An apprentice,
J.
>>>David Deangelo’s COMMENTS:
You’ve asked some questions that really require more of an in-depth treatment… but here are a few pointers that have taken me YEARS to figure out:
1) You’ll get more responses in general by replying to personal ads placed by women than you will by placing your own ad (Unless you’re a master of writing profiles).
2) If you’re going to use the personals, look at the new ads that are placed daily, and respond as soon as a woman places her ad. Attractive single women typically get 50-100 responses per DAY to personal ads, and it’s very easy to get overwhelmed. You’ll notice that a lot of women take their ads down after just a few days… this is why.
3) Be charming and funny (also known as COCKY and funny – using my Cocky Comedy techniques) in your replies (or in your ad, if you write your own). Say things like “I was looking through all these ads here on the internet thinking to myself “Look at all the poor, desperate, lonely women…” and then I saw your ad and thought to myself “Hey, here’s a poor, desperate, lonely woman that’s actually CUTE…” so I thought I’d write and see if you’re as interesting on the inside as you are in this picture…”
4) I mentioned in one of recent newsletters that I got an email from a guy who had his picture taken with some dolphins… and that he’s getting tons of responses from that. I’ve never done it myself, but it sounds like a great idea!
***QUESTION to DAVID DEANGELO***
Dave, love your book. I have learned more about women in the last two months than I knew in my lifetime. The teasing and using COCKY COMEDY really turns them on. I have known this girl for some time and we were mostly friends. Just lately she said to me “I love you R,” Is it ok for me to tell her I love her too or is it better to say nothing and just smile which I did so far.
R.
>>>DAVID DEANGELO’s COMMENTS:
Take a cue from Han Solo…Say “I know”.
You might throw in a sly half-smile to let her know that you’re having fun after you say it.
As far as your question of “Is it OK to tell her that I love her too?” I can’t answer that. You’re at a stage that is past our topic here.
I think that love and relationships are great, but since this isn’t the area that I choose to talk about, you’re going to have to decide for yourself. Just don’t turn into a wussy… that’s bad no matter what.
***COMMENT TO DAVID DEANGELO FROM A WOMAN***
I just wanted to say thank you, from all the women out here in single land, for the creation of Double Your Dating. Out of curiosity, I clicked on a link from (another website) to see what all this great advice was about. just from reading about your “kiss test” I knew you had figured it out. I like being hit on by a confident assertive man. I also like a man who can figure it out that I’m not interested. Honestly, I will fall over and spread my legs for any man that does the right things whether he’s extremely attractive or not. I would never tell him how to do it. I guess that’s your job. Anyway, like I said, I just wanted to thank you. I personally hope I get hit on in the grocery store by someone who has read your book!
Thanks,
K.H.
>>>MY COMMENTS:
Well, thank you for your letter. I truly appreciate your honesty and directness. Most men can’t believe that what you’re saying could actually be true, but as we both know, it quite often is. The interesting thing you say (which I agree with) is:
“I would never tell him how to do it.”
In other words, A WOMAN WILL NEVER TEACH A WUSSY BOY WHO DOESN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO THE SECRETS OF GETTING HER. Translation for guys: If you don’t know what you’re doing when it comes to women, LEARN.
***QUESTION***
Hi Dave:
I have been reading your material for a few months now. One of the best things I learned about your work is how to get e-mail addresses and phone numbers from women. I have great success at this point. This has also helped my business. I need help in two areas that involve taking it to the next level. I want to meet a nice girl and settle down. Firstly, how can I figure out which one of these girls is the BEST for me in terms of personality and chemistry. My last relationship lasted a year and a half and did not work because we were always busting each others chops. Secondly, I think there is a point when we just need to stop playing games and be nice to these women… What do you think?
B. NYC
>>>DAVID DEANGELO’s COMMENTS:
Well, I’m not the relationship expert, so I’m not going to address how you should choose a woman to settle down with…
But I will comment on your question of whether or not there is a point when you should stop “playing games” and “be nice to these women”. The mind set and techniques that I teach are not my idea of a “short term technique to get laid”. Once you start using the methods, you’ll find that women respond to them on an ONGOING basis. In other words, if you can keep up the charming, Cocky and Funny attitude, it will keep a woman feeling attracted to you FOREVER.
“Nice” is not a word that you want associated with yourself, in my opinion. Women aren’t ATTRACTED to guys who are “nice”. Be interesting, unpredictable… even thoughtful and original. But don’t be NICE. Use Cocky Comedy.
Think about it.
***QUESTION for DAVID DEANGELO***
Hello,
Your are the man. I have been using your cocky funny method on girls I already know and see the difference in the way they act towards me; they seem to definitely be more interested. My dilemma is that I run out of cocky comedy comments and little jokes. For example I went to the coffee shop yesterday with one of my buddies and there were two cute girls in front of us who smiled at us when we where in line and I looked back and smiled but I had no idea what to say to them or what to make fun of and they got what they wanted and left. I simply had no idea what funny comment to make.
>>>DAVID DEANGELO’s COMMENTS:
Here’s the answer…
List the 10 most common situations that you’d find yourself meeting women… and list 10 cocky and funny things to say in each situation. Next, mentally rehearse each of the comments so you have them ready! If you are at the stage where Cocky Comedy doesn’t come “naturally”, then you’re going to have to PRACTICE.
Why do Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods make their sports look EASY? Why do they TOTALLY dominate all of the other players around them? Practice, of course.
Stop trying to create magic from nothing, and start practicing. Practice makes magic.
***QUESTION for DAVID DEANGELO***
Dave,
Because of my job, I am on the road a lot, where I love to listen to your interviews with dating gurus, by the way! Lots of times I like to drive with the windows down, music blasting and just taking in the sun. Many times I find myself waiting at a stop light with a good- looking girl waiting next to me. Some of these girls, we make eye contact, others just glance over. Sometimes I’ll drive for miles with the same girl to the side of me. The problem is I never really know what to do next. So I guess what I need are some great David Deangelo dating tips on:
1. How do I get her to roll down her window? 2. Once she does what should I tell her?
I drive an average car (VW Jetta) so I know they’re not looking at that, but I’m just uncertain how to get her attention.
Thanks for the help.
R. in So Cal
>>>DAVID DEANGELO’s COMMENTS:
Oh, you can have a lot of fun with this one. I have a good friend who can’t drive up next to a woman without flirting. He likes to “waggle his eyebrows” at every woman he sees. Next time you’re next to a cutie, waggle your brows and wave. When she smiles, make the old fashioned motion of rolling down your window to her, and roll down yours.
Finally, take out your cell phone, point to it, and say “What’s your number?”
I’ve done variations of this myself, and had some great fun success with it.
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