If you haven’t met her face to face yet, there will be a moment when you both know its time! And it very likely will be spontaneous.
Like lots of guys nowadays, I met a girl online. Emails turned into phone calls which resulted in sparks. The only problem was she lived in New Orleans and I was 500 miles away in Gainesville, Florida. Phone calls sustained us for a few weeks, but soon I knew I had to see her in person, so one night I asked, “how about if I come see you tomorrow?” Moments later, the flight was booked.
After our first weekend together, we both knew there was potential for a genuine, loving relationship. On the plane ride home, the question gnawed at me, “how could we continue exploring and nurturing this relationship while hundreds of miles apart?” This would be a first for me – and her – and I knew it would require a little more effort than dating someone down the street.
So, I used the following means to keep things going while we were hundreds of miles apart.
Flowers are Essential
It’s cliché for a reason. Most women I’ve met enjoy receiving flowers, especially at work. A dozen red roses are nice, but she’ll be more impressed if you subtly find out her favorite flower and send a bouquet unexpectedly. If you have a hard time working the question into casual conversation, ask one of her friends. A woman should also feel free to send flowers to her man. While few guys will outwardly admit it, it’s flattering to receive flowers, regardless of gender.
Unexpected Gifts are the Best Kind
Flowers are lovely, but sometimes you need to mix things up. Find an original gift to send her way. It doesn’t have to be expensive, just thoughtful. The more personal, the better. One of the first gifts I sent my wife was a teddy bear gift basket. The teddy bear still sits on her dresser to this day. She sent me a 12-pack of a New Orleans beer that she introduced me to on one of my first visit. (Of course, the beer had a much shorter shelf life than the teddy bear.) It’s all about little demonstrations showing you care.
Talk Daily
Long distance relationships are becoming more common, and can be very worthwhile if you take the right steps in nurturing it.
This one is critical. Pick up the phone and talk to one another every evening. Some conversations may last two hours, others just five minutes. It’s not about the length of the call, it’s about caring enough to make the call an integral part of your daily life. Couples need that regular, ongoing connection and email doesn’t cut it. And remember, no matter how bad your day was, try to go into the call with a positive attitude. After all, talking to the person you love should be exciting, the best part of your day.
Make the Trip – Whatever it Takes
While living in different states, she and I made a point to see each other in person at least once a month. One month I would fly to New Orleans, the next she would fly to Gainesville. Yes, it got expensive and we both burned through a lot of vacation time, but there’s no substitute for sharing the same physical space. If finances preclude you from flying, get in the car. If it’s too far to drive for a weekend visit, meet halfway and enjoy a mini-vacation.
Communicate About Where Things are Going
Communication is always the key to a great relationship, but it’s especially important when you live far apart. Make sure you’re in sync
about where you hope the relationship will lead. If one of you is just having a good time while the other envisions walking down the aisle, it’s especially painful. Don’t assume you’re on the same page, talk about it. Once you decide it’s time to make the commitment, don’t hesitate. To steal a line from When Harry Met Sally, “when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody, you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.”
Well, it must have worked because five years later, we’re still together, married three years and going strong. I certainly don’t know everything about love, but by using the techniques above, I proved how to “get the girl!”
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About the Author
Damion Wasylow is a freelance writer who met his wife online in 2008. They live in Gainesville, Florida and plan to add to their family in the near future. In his free time, Damion enjoys traveling, reading and watching sports on TV.