Do you ever wish someone could just tell you exactly what photos work BEST in your profile?

…you’re in luck because I’m going to reveal the single MOST IMPORTANT thing you need to know about what photos you should NEVER put in your profile…

From the moment I started experimenting with my profile, one of the biggest tests I conducted was figuring out WHICH photos work best (and I quickly learned which ones were the worst as well).

This is a pretty CONTROVERSIAL topic when it comes to meeting women online.

Some guys say one thing, other guys say the exact opposite, but almost every guy who writes me has the same question:

WHAT PHOTOS DO WORK BEST IN YOUR PROFILE?

Let me dispel some common myths about photos in your profile…

I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt that there ARE specific photos which WILL increase the responses you get to both your personals ad, and your emails…

… and there are specific photos which will beyond a shadow of a doubt DECREASE the response to both your personals ad and your emails.

Today I’m going to talk about the photo you NEVER want in your online dating profile.

This was one of the many lessons I learned over the course of the 4 years I was experimenting with online dating.

Now before you go say ‘But Dave, Does it matter that I’m NOT really great looking?’

No. It doesn’t.

In fact, average looking guys tend to do even BETTER than the really good looking guys.

Before you shake your head, hear me out…

The reason good looking guys are at a
disadvantage is because women can see these guys coming A MILE AWAY!

Their defenses go up.

Women automatically think
Good looking = Player

This may or may not be the case, but this is what women tell me they automatically think.

The average looking guy on the other-hand doesn’t raise any ‘alarms’ so he’s got the element of surprise. Her guard is down.

One thing to keep in mind…

I’ve had as many as 40 something profiles up at any one time, spread out all over the country.

I used other guys photos, other guys profiles, mixed them up and posted them in another state. (I later took this same concept and invented ‘the recon profile’ idea you heard me talk about on the DYD programs)

To top it off, I was sending over 100 emails PER MONTH/per account.

When you’re able to send out close to 5,000 emails a month, you start to see PATTERNS.

What’s working and whats not working… from a broad range of ages, locations, and looks.

By doing this I was able to collect a lot of DATA.

Something everyone else *doesn’t* have.

(Who’s going to send out 5,000 emails a month for years?)

What I teach you comes based on collecting and analyzing that data.

————————————————–————————————————–

It’s one thing to talk about something that SHOULD work, however its another thing entirely to say, here..

‘I tried it, these are the results, and this is EXACTLY how to make it work.’

… And that’s where I come up with the concepts contained in Insider Internet
Dating.

Back to the photos.

One of the experiments I did was testing what photos worked best and which ones didn’t.

I tested this out for months, and the results were quite interesting…

One night I was sitting at Starbucks staring at my laptop. I look up and see some 20 yr old kid looking at some bodybuilding magazine.

I think it was Muscle & Fitness.

Bingo. The lightblub goes off.

I’m thinking: ‘Chicks usually like guys who are in shape and are good looking.’

I searched for a bit, and uploaded a few photos on the profiles… but these were photos of dudes without any shirts on.

As I’m uploading these photos, I’m thinking ‘Dave, the women on this website are going to go NUTS when they see these photos, my inbox is going to get flooded.’

I sat there waiting for my inbox to explode with new emails.

And I sat there…

And sat there…

And nothing happened.

So I started sending emails out. This was the same template I was sending before from other accounts and I was getting replies from it.

I figured, hey, if it worked good before, then with these photos I should be getting EVEN MORE replies.

Unfortunately, I got even LESS than I’d normally get. (Which had me stumped, or I just had a pretty interesting discovery.)

Anyways, I looked at the numbers, did a little bit of math (i.e. calculator), and sure enough all the emails I sent out from the profiles with guys who had no shirt on ALL got a lower response.

But something interesting happened.

The profile views were higher than normal, but the emails I got were significantly less than normal.

SO WHAT CAN YOU LEARN FROM THIS?

Simple. If you’ve got any photos with no shirt on, get rid of them.

Not tomorrow, not next week — NOW.

They’re partly the reason why you’re not getting the results you’d like meeting women online.

There’s more.

I could go on and on about all the little things you can do to make your profile work better for you…

For even more tips, and how an average guy like me got 398 dates with attractive women, ALL met online, in 4 years…

To your dating success,

Dave M.
Author, Insider Internet Dating

I’m sitting here at home on my computer and without even leaving my bedroom I was able to find 20 women I was interested in on a couple of dating websites…

So I sent them each an email.

An email that I SLIGHTLY modified for each of them and within 45 minutes… I was sitting with 13 responses.

NOT BAD FOR 5 MINUTES OF ‘WORK’

This wasn’t enough, just because a woman responds to your initial email, doesn’t mean you’re going to be able to get their number.

(although I have an unfair advantage, IID)

What happened after I sent off my ‘phone number’ email?

I got 10 phone numbers WITHIN 2 hours and they’re all *VERY* eager to speak to me.

For some guys, what I just mentioned sounds like something from out of a movie.

It just doesn’t seem real.

I can totally relate because that used to be nothing more than a fantasy for me too!

Now his fantasy is a typical day for me.

It’s not really hard to get a woman to respond and then give you her phone number… IF you understand the PROCESS behind meeting women on the internet.

So exactly what did I send these 20 women that was SO mesmerizing they were compelled to write back?

Simple, but before I get to that let me explain something very relevant and very important.

One of the things I talk about in the program is my ‘templates’. They’re basically email sequences I’ve tested and refined over 4 years.

Sequences for every type of situation you may run across when meeting women online.

And I mean EVERY situation.

I’m talking about scientifically testing these sequences, and constantly refining them over and over until they were SO GOOD women wouldn’t even know you sent something similar to 30 OTHER women as well.

Ok, back to what I sent to these 20 women…

Here’s the sequence I sent them:

STEP 1: INTRODUCTION

Mention something about what you really think about meeting women thru the internet

STEP 2: MENTION SOMETHING FUNNY ABOUT HER PROFILE

Yes, I’m talking about you picking on her. If there’s something she’s wearing, a pose she’s in, the type of photo or something she says bust on her for it!

(this is where the email is customized for each individual women)

STEP 3: TELL HER BRIEFLY ABOUT YOURSELF

Take 1 small sentence and highlight something about yourself. Remember to keep it very BRIEF.

STEP 4: CALL TO ACTION

What do you want her to do after she reads this email?

Tell her what you’d like her to do.

STEP 5: SIGN OFF

This is where you place your name and your email address… make sure you use the right format or it will be filtered out and she won’t see it.

That is what I sent all of them. That’s the EXACT sequence I used… Next week odds are I’ll use a different sequence and perhaps it might work even better than this one.

I’m always trying out new things.

WHAT HAPPENS AFTER SHE RESPONDS?

Just like I show you in the program, I simply copied and pasted my ‘phone number’ email, which asks them for their phone numbers.

Yes, it REALLY is this easy.

That sequence I’ve tested and refined COUNTLESS number of times and its only one of SEVERAL that I have and one of about 8 that I share with you inside the Insider Internet Dating program.

WHAT IF YOU WANT TO CREATE YOUR OWN
TEMPLATE?

Here’s what you’d have to do:

STEP 1. Create an email

STEP 2. Create another version of it only change something in it.

STEP 3. Send both out with SEPARATE headlines so you can keep track of which one gets more responses.

STEP 4. The one that gets more responses you keep, the other? Get rid of it.

STEP 5. Rinse wash repeat. That means just do the same thing over again.

I must tell you…

For your sequence to have anywhere near the effectiveness that mine have, you’re going to have to conduct around 423 tests.

What I mean is you’re going to have to do that whole set of steps I just mentioned 423 DIFFERENT times!

Yes, I know it’s crazy… and I’m nuts for doing it, but I actually conducted around 423 tests that took me over 3 years to do.

I tested ALL kinds of stuff…. from headlines, openers, questions to ask, days of the week to email and a whole lot more.

If you’ve got all that time on your hands, and the energy to do it then by all means go for it.

For most of us, that’s NOT an option.

99% of us don’t have time, we work and turning dating into a scientific experiment isn’t something we consider fun.

ESPECIALLY after a day of listening to your boss, or dealing with customers.

In fact, if I had to do it again, I probably wouldn’t be able to do it… it was THAT much work.

What you now see is the end result of this hard work. (i.e. more results in less time.)

That is what meeting women online is about…
More results, with less effort. Meeting women online the way I do it, is so much fun because you know exactly what you have to do each step of the way and it doesn’t take much time to do.

If you’re reading these emails and saying to yourself ‘I really need to improve what I’m doing’ because you’re NOT getting the results you want with meeting women online then I couldn’t agree with you more.

Getting success with this part of your life doesn’t just ‘Happen’.

Sure you might have some good experiences here and there because you were either speaking to the right girl at the right time or got a girl that was more needy than you were…

But consistent success with meeting women online is the result of knowing EXACTLY what do do each step of the way and then being able to do it.

Its about learning the exact SEQUENCE.

I have the most amazing education system for meeting women off the internet that will teach you just that.

I’ve never published the material you find in Insider Internet Dating. It’s never been part of any course or seminar talk I’ve ever done. No one knows about it except for my own students.

You won’t find it anywhere.

Any guy can use it, it will work on any dating site and it will help you put your dating on AUTOPILOT.

I’ve been getting a lot of questions from readers about profiles.  Everyone seems to want to know *how* to set up their profile in the best way to get more success.

Well, I have some SHOCKING news for you.

But before I get to it, I wanted to tell you a quick little story of what happened to me today.  Its about 5 p.m. I go outside to the mailbox… open it up and I see this nice slick catalog/brochure from apple.

I walk inside and put down all the mail and continue to look it over because it was just really sweet looking.  The photos were stylish, the design was clean and the brochure just got me in that buying mood.

So what did I do?

I put the magazine down and went to their website to read more but I didn’t buy anything.  Now why am I telling you this story?

Because your profile is just like that brochure. Its just there to look good and give her a point of reference. its NOT going to make her say: “YES, I want this guy right now.”

Believe it or not, the profile isn’t one of the most important things.  Yes it is important but lets not overdo it.  Girls want to see that you’re not some dumbass, psycho, stalker etc.

The purpose of the profile is to show her that there’s a brain behind the face. To show her that you’re actually a cool, relaxed guy. That you’re FUNNY. You have a sense of style.

These are all attributes that your profile should have.  And if it doesn’t then take it down and fix it ASAP

I hear it now, someone is going to say:

“But, Dave, exactly what do I put in it?”

Here’s a SAMPLE of how I might structure this. Notice I said might. I don’t want to give you absolute specifics because then what happens?

EVERYONE and their mother takes the same stuff and then the girls catch on that we’re all using the same stuff and it ruins it for everyone.

On the Insider Internet Dating CD I actually show you my EXACT profile so you can learn from watching.

Soooo…..

1. Intro

I’d start with something catchy…mention something about why your profile is different, or what she must go thru on these sites…

2. Some basic info

Age, eye color, build, what you do…the basics

3. Now go a bit further

Give her some more cool info….fun things you like to do, hobbies, what you like to do for fun.

***And no, you can’t start talking about the vertical slide (Hint Hint)

4. Start to qualify her

Ask a question…like are you a cool fun girl that likes to be active on the weekends?

If she emails you back then she seems to think she fits in there. But again, the profile is just there to convey some basic stuff so you don’t need to stress out too much over it.

She’s not going to talk to your profile. She’s going to talk to you, IF you do the right things.

If you do, you’ll get her number, then you’ll charm the living heck out of her and do ALL the right things.

When you’re talking about what you like in a woman, I’d be a bit ambiguous and not really talk about PHYSICAL features but rather talk about personality traits that you’d like her to have.

“Someone that’s got more going for them than their looks”.
“A woman that’s got ambitions in life is very appealing to me…”
“A woman that thinks sexy usually is sexy”.

Stuff like that.

My style is all about charm. Its about being cocky and funny but in the right situations… and all the while adding charm so she can’t help but dig you.

Remember the profile is there as a reference. Its like a brochure the salesman gives you. Odds are you’ll look thru it and if its got nice pictures and some interesting words then it helps.

But you’re going to buy the product based on the person you’re talking to. You’re not going to decide based upon the brochure.

Does that make sense?

If you’ve got friends that you actually like, then send them a link to the site:

www.insiderinternetdating.com

I’m sure they’ll thank you afterwards.

If you’re reading these emails and saying to yourself “I really need to improve what I’m doing” because you’re NOT getting the results you want with women online then I couldn’t agree with you more.

Getting success with this part of your life doesn’t just “Happen”.

Sure you might have some good experiences here and there because you were either speaking to the right girl at the right time or got a girl that was more needy than you were…

But consistent success with meeting women online is the result of knowing EXACTLY what do do each step of the way and then being able to do it.

I have the most amazing education system for meeting women off the internet that will teach you just that.

It’s called: “Insider Internet Dating”. This program shows YOU how to copy my EXACT plan…

From start to finish.

With this program I’m going to show you:

* The SECRET I stumbled upon enabling non members to read AND respond to the emails you send them…
Doing it any other way causes filters to STRIP your email address!

* My EXACT profile… see exactly what I’m teaching you and how I used it in my own profile (How many ‘Gurus’ are willing to do that?)

* The COMPLETE plan… from start to finish. Each step is laid out in step by step detail!

* 8 fill-in-the-blanks TEMPLATE sequences you can customize…. now you’ll never have to guess what to send out

* DOZENS of simple strategies you can use immediately to increase your responses

* And much, much more…

I take you ‘behind the scenes’ and teach you my EXACT blueprint… and I show you how to really use it to amplify your results.

There’s a mindset you need to have if you are spending any time at all dating online.

Too many men are too cautious when dating online. That makes you weak, overly sensitive, too thoughtful, and a pussy. DON’T DO IT.

Think of online dating as a video game. As you learn each step in my system, you’ll see that this approach frees you up to… well… WIN!

At first, you fail. Okay.

So you get up and try again.

And again.

Let’s change the context a bit to something else you can probably instantly relate to: When you get blasted on level 7 of a video game, do you get all freaked out about it? Do you mope around all day, wishing you had done something just a LITTLE bit different. Did you question everything you did?

NO!!! Of course not.

Do you know why?

It’s because you KNEW you got that far this time, and you KNOW you’ll get that far again, and then do better. As a result, you weren’t acting all weak and self doubting. When guys get into the dating thing, they lose their strength. I’ve seen great confident guys turn to mush when faced with a beautiful girl.

Online, you don’t have to suffer face to face rejection. You can be bold, test new approaches and techniques — you can perfect your game!

And you can pretty easily get to level 6 all over again. And eventually to level 10.

Am I right?

I mean, it’s no big deal. There are thousands of women on your online dating site for you to go out with. THOUSANDS!

This state of mind is important when you’re meeting women online because if you get too wrapped up in what happened yesterday, you won’t spend enough time thinking about TODAY!

And TODAY is the time that matters most. TODAY is the day you have an opportunity for another High Score. The Score. The Best Score Ever!

Learn from your mistakes, but then leave it behind you. Just like a video game.

Can you see yourself doing that with women? I suppose the issue is that you can’t care too much about hooking up with one particular woman. And before you start accusing me of being callous, let me just say that you don’t know this person yet!

This woman is anonymous to you. She doesn’t now you, and you don’t know her.

So, don’t invest too much emotional energy, fear and self-doubt into any one relationship before it even begins. You’ll be far more successful if you treat this stage of the process like a game.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Grant Adams is author of the wildly effective
“DAO System Manual: How to Stand Out Online So That By The
Time You Meet, She’s Already Yours”
= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

David Deangelo on Meeting Women Online

So many men have the misconception that online dating services and meeting women online are only for repulsive singles that can’t get a date to save their life, or for those that are afraid of rejection. But millions of men are opting to check out the possibilities of meeting women online simply because it offers a new, easy to use forum in the comfort of your own home and is minus all the hype of bars and clubs. Besides, even singles who are flat broke can put up a free personals ad in the online dating forum!

The thing about learning how to meet women online is that you can literally create an art form out of your personal ad and draw the single women to you like bees to honey. The trick is, though, you have got to know how to craft your online profile in the right way, or you will just be one of the million other singles out there trying to attract a date and either failing or succeeding with meeting women online.

David Deangelo has literally made an entire PROGRAM out of how to meet women online. He tells you all the tips and tricks of creating a killer profile, how to email women, how to get her to look at you as an attractive alpha male rather than just another guy, how to take it from the internet to a face to face meeting in just 2 emails and SO much more.

Check it out:  Meeting Women Online

For instance, have you put much thought into the pictures you put into your profile? Well DUH!! You should. David Deangelo tells guys exactly what kinds of pictures you should have in there to instantly attract women, no matter what you look like in Meeting Women Online. There are also certain headlines you need to use in your profile to meet women online and surefire tips to writing them.

David Deangelo also tells people in his Meeting Women Online program how to act on your first date with a woman you meet at an online dating site. There is so much more to meeting women online than just sticking up a profile! What are you waiting for? Check out David Deangelo’s tips and tricks by clicking on the box below, even if you just read the page you will be so much farther ahead of the game when it comes to online interaction on dating websites than 99% of the other guys out there.

If you are looking for some help choosing the right online dating site for you, please check out our section dedicated to that:  Online Dating Sites.

******************************************************************

Below is just a funny article from Scot McKay telling readers about his four most memorable Online Dating Disasters:

Here are the four most memorable ones:

1) Not What The Doctor Prescribed

Very shortly after my divorce in 1992, I received a “spam” message in my inbox that I actually responded to. Believe it or not, I hadn’t even heard of online dating before. This ad claimed I could meet the woman of my dreams on their site, so I was intrigued.

The next thing you know, I had ponied up however much they charged and began looking through the pictures of women they had listed.

To be honest, this was not exactly the most well-traveled site on the ‘net. Who knew there was a Match.com out there? So inevitably, I found exactly one woman who seemed interesting to me-a brown-eyed blondie with a friendly smile.

I emailed her, probably with something lame like “You seem nice. Maybe we could get along. Would you like to talk?”. Remember, this was Day One for me in the online dating world – my first stab at meeting women online.

Call it “beginner’s luck, but she wrote back. Crazy, huh?

Well, one thing led to another, and there we were sitting across the table from one another at dinner. The fact that I shouldn’t have been paying for dinners here has long since been duly noted and is sort of beside the point, so please overlook that for now and read on.

Midway through dinner, she starts talking about her medical problems.

Never talk about your medical problems on a first date. I don’t care if you’ve known the person for ten years, let alone ten minutes.

Between bites of whatever I was eating, she was bragging about how she had chronic kidney stone issues and how tough she was for being able to pass them without even flinching nowadays.

Unfortunately, she took my casual attempt to divert the discussion as disbelief.

“You don’t believe I get kidney stones? Here…look…”

Already having started digging in her purse, she soon produced a small medicine vial.

I thought to myself, “This chick has to be kidding. I believe her, already. She doesn’t have to prove her case by showing me her prescription.”

I should have been so lucky.

Pressing down and twisting the child-proof cap, the bottle opened and the contents were soon poured into her hand.

“See, look at this…it has to be at least the size of a pea, right?”

With a freshly French-manicured thumb and forefinger, she produced the largest unit from an impressive collection of similar objects she was holding.

Yes. It was the largest kidney stone she had ever passed.

This woman collected her kidney stones. And she took them with her everywhere, apparently.

I don’t remember what I said or did, really. But I do remember there was a second date, believe it or not.

2) Not A Strip Mall, Sweetie

Not long after the “kidney stone chick”, I met another woman from the same site. She was a Hispanic cutie with perfect skin and a booty that would have made Sir Mix-A-Lot slam on the brakes. She said “sweetie” a lot.

I hadn’t learned the part about not taking women to expensive dinners on first dates yet, so there were at one of the nicer sushi joints in San Antonio.

She was terrific. She was intelligent and loved to laugh. Above and beyond that, she was a great flirt. Clearly she was digging me.

We had ordered two glasses of red wine, and conversation turned to what she did for a living.

“So you said you were ‘self-employed’. What exactly do you do?”, I asked.

While she answered, I took a sip of Merlot. And it was right then that I discovered that all those slapstick “spit takes” you see on old-school comedy sketches are rooted in factual reality.

It took all I had in reserve not to spew grape juice all over everything.

“I run a chain of strip clubs, Sweetie.”, she had announced matter-of-factly.

Sitting before me was a decidedly classy woman, who I had picked up from a decent home in a nice neighborhood.

“You mean, like a strip mall…right…with the nail salons, a tanning place and a Chinese restaurant.”

“No, silly! LOL! I mean like…you know…strip clubs. The kind with girls.”

Now if you know my style at all by now, you already realize the date was as good as over.

Yet, it was like a train wreck. I couldn’t look away.

And I asked the inevitable question.

“Yes, well…my ex ran the day-to-day operations and I pretty much handled the books. But he let the ‘interview process’ go a little too far too often, and I couldn’t trust him anymore. I got the business in the divorce settlement.”

It was then, I told her the truth.

“I’ve never been to one of those places in my life, and I see no reason to start now.”

Uh oh.

I may has well have lit a roman candle. That chick practically attacked me as soon as we left the restaurant. I tried to handle things as best as I knew how at the time, but let’s just say she wasn’t a happy camper.

When I got home, she had already e-mailed me the buck-naked pics from her “Adult Friendfinder” profile (which was my first introduction to that particular reality). “This is what you missed out on. GOOD LUCK!!!” was the only line accompanying the pics.

3) June Carter Cash Or Charge

I should have known better, considering the one pic she had attached to her profile was a blurry one.

And in my heart of hearts, I really did know better. Suspecting this particular date may not go so well, I invited her to dinner (yeah, yeah…hardheaded wasn’t I?) at 5.30p.

I walked into the Chili’s or TGIFridays or whatever it was, and immediately got that nauseous feeling that every single online dater experiences at one point or another. Specifically, the one where you see someone waiting alone at a table over there who vaguely resembles the person you were expecting to meet about as much as a piece of burnt toast resembles the perfectly good slice of bread you threw in the toaster and forgot about.

My honest-to-goodness first thought was, “OMG…who replaced the woman with the nice smile in the profile with June Carter Cash!”

I was too much of a “Mr. Nice Guy” to turn tail and skip town immediately, so I gathered my intestinal fortitude and approached the table.

Conversation was stilted from the very beginning. She began to make a feeble attempt at flirting.

The woman was at least 55 years old. And not a very attractive 55-year-old at that.

She was dressed in solid black stuff with lots of stainless steel crap and fringes on it, like she was some dust-farting legend from “The Grand Ole’ Opry” or something.

The thickness of her Texas accent was eclipsed only by the thickness of her black eyeliner.

Finally, she excused herself to the ladies room, offering me a blessed reprieve from impending regurgitation.

It was then the waiter came to the table asking me if I wanted another beer. “NO!” I proclaimed, soon apologizing for the brusque tone neither he nor I had anticipated.

“OK, um…how about your mom?

“What?”

“Would your mom like another beer?”

Suddenly reminded that one must take oneself much less seriously in order to derive the greatest enjoyment out of life, I burst out laughing.

I was still recovering when Mrs. Cash returned to the table.

Having ordered a small garden salad (after all, who could eat?), my focus pretty much turned to saying as little as possible in hopes that she would friggin’ finish eating.

I had already called for the check and ended up excusing myself to go find the waiter and pay it, already.

Finally, leaving, I parted ways with her at the table and wished her well. There was no way I was going to risk the awkwardness of walking her to her car. My inherent sense of chivalry was in fact overwhelmed by utter disgust, without apology.

Arriving home at the advanced hour of 6:30, I was greeted once again by a “post date” e-mail. In her vitriolic message to me, Mrs. Cash had “charged” me with a series of offenses that clearly roused her deepest sense of hurt and anger. Among the more particularly hilarious ones was the pronouncement that I was “obviously gay” because I failed to see her as attractive.

Were she the last woman on earth, she may have been right about that.

Incidentally, I finally learned my lesson and quit that particular dating site…forever.

4) Cook For Your Drunk

She was a very cute kindergarten teacher of Lebanese ethnicity. She was also a total sweetheart. Realizing her pics consistently got 9.5s on HotOrNot.com, I threw the dice and let her come to my place so I could cook for her.

There were no disappointments. She was exactly my type. And she was already being touchy/feelie/smiley enough that I knew this was going to go really well.

I mixed her an “Apple-tini”.

“Oh my! This is GOOOD!” she said. Noticing her glass was empty, I refreshed it for her.

The glass was empty again the next time I looked over at her. Right then, making eye contact with her, she skipped over to me, threw her arms around my neck and started biting me with a giggle.

This chick was perhaps 110 pounds with a full tank of fuel. (in other words, she was probably 110 pounds at that moment). So I decided maybe two drinks were enough.

But nevertheless, when I wasn’t paying attention she had found some raspberry stuff in my stash and had begun mixing vodka with it.

Ten minutes later, dinner was finished…and it was spectacular, if I may say so myself.

But she was nowhere to be found.

It was then I remembered she had excused herself to the bathroom.

I went to check on her and she had vomited (thankfully with tremendously accurate aim) into the commode, and was presently passed out on the floor. Whatever.

Managing to wake her up, her groggy self agreed to let me carry her to the bedroom and let her sleep it off…which she did.

I ate dinner alone, watching SportsCenter. The Spurs had lost, no less.

She woke up 8 hours later, found me asleep on the couch, and had made me breakfast by the time I woke up. It was a great breakfast. She clearly had a sense that I was a man whom she could feel safe with. There was a second date.

Obviously, I learned some things from my early online dating misadventures. My evening with he Lebanese cutie actually happened about six months before I met Emily, so that only proves you gotta stay on your toes at all times. Actually, that one was probably less of an “online dating disaster” per se and more of an issue of guarding my liquor stash from pent-up school teachers!