This is an excerpt from a monthly interview series installment that David Deangelo did with the famous Patty Contenta. Patty Contenta and David Deangelo focused on one of my all-time favorite topics – “Sexual Body Language”.
Have you ever thought that if you just knew the right “words” to say to a woman, that you would have no problem “picking her up”? If so, you’re not alone. In fact, this is exactly what I used to think. I used to think that if I could just learn the right “lines” and “techniques”, everything else would just fall into place. Body Language never even crossed my mind.
I have another question for you…
Have you ever approached a woman with what you thought was a good “line”… or with something “polite”… and had her totally blow you off? Well, this may come as a surprise, but there’s a very good chance that she made the decision to reject you BEFORE YOU EVEN OPENED YOUR MOUTH.
Patty Contenta tells us that attractive women get hit on by men day in and day out. It NEVER stops. They are practically forced to develop ways to size men up FAST. Men are always stopping women – the attractive ones – to try and lay a line down. But body language just happens to be the easiest and the MOST ACCURATE way for them to disqualify guys who don’t “get it” without ever even having to talk to them.
That said… developing powerful, masculine body language is one of the most important things you’ll ever do to improve your game, according to Patty Contenta. If you want to make a woman feel comfortable and open to talking to you, you must learn to physically communicate to her that you are the type of man she is looking for BEFORE you meet her.
And if you want to make a woman feel powerful sexual attraction for you, you must learn to project the physical signals that women can’t help but respond to you. So here’s exactly what you need to do to transform your communication and start speaking to women in a way that most
men will NEVER figure out…
1. Patty Contenta says …“Un-Train” Yourself And Eliminate All Of The Things That You’re Doing Wrong…
If you really want to become a master of sexual body language, it’s not enough to simply learn the “right moves”. You also need to eliminate what you’re doing wrong. Remember, women are at least TEN TIMES better at reading and interpreting subtle communication than men. Even if you’re doing a lot of things right, one small “tick” will give her that feeling that “something isn’t right”. You need to be absolutely sure that everything you do “fits”.
So how do you do that?
2. Become Constantly Aware Of What Your Body Is Doing
Good body language isn’t something you just “turn on” when you are talking to a woman. It’s important that you internalize it and make it a part of you. When you’re first learning this stuff, you need to be paying attention to your body language ALL THE TIME. Start paying attention to EVERYTHING… where you place your hands when you are sitting, the way your feet are facing when you’re standing, the speed and precision of your movements, the way you walk, the way you blink, and even the way you breathe.
Patty Contenta says simply opening your eyes to what your body is doing will give you some great insights on improving it.
3. Align Yourself For Success
The most important thing that great non-verbal communicators do to project masculine confidence and power is something most do unconsciously. Patty Contenta says the good news is that you can easily learn it and duplicate their success. The key is to ALIGN YOURSELF so that every part of your
body is completely congruent with one another.
When standing, keep your feet a little bit more than shoulder-width apart. Make sure to balance your weight firmly across the entire length of your feet. Now, put your shoulders back and lift your chest up towards the sky. Put your chin up, and with each hand, touch your thumb to your forefinger to align the muscles in your arms.
Doing this forces you into what Patty Contenta calls a “centered” position, and causes positive sexual energy to flow throughout your body. And believe me… women will take notice.
You can use this same technique of aligning yourself when you are sitting down, leaning up against a wall, or walking down the street.
Ok, homework time…
Go out and grab the movie “Swingers”, and pay close attention to the character played by Vince Vaughan. Watch how he stands, how he sits, and how he moves. Notice how every detail of his body language is completely congruent. As you walk around town today, PRETEND YOU ARE
HIM. (I know this sounds silly… but trust me). Focus on keeping yourself centered and aligned.
Watch the reactions you get from women and every one else. I think you’ll be surprised at just how much of a difference this stuff makes.
4. Lead From Your Hips
In this interview, Patty Contenta talked about a simple secret that was a HUGE “ah ha” for me when she first shared it at my Mastery Program. This secret is something that will instantly improve your body
language, and cause women to notice you wherever you go. The best part about it is that it’s incredibly easy to learn and use.
The secret is to “lead from your hips” when you are walking.
Most men move forward with their chest or their head leading the way. When you lead from your hips, it subtly communicates a sexual awareness that women are BIOLOGICALLY PROGRAMMED to notice. Simply put, doing just this one thing will have a massive effect on the way women look at you… even if you change nothing else in your game. Just pretend as if there is a giant string tied to your belt that is gently pulling you along as you are walking.
It really is that easy. The tricky part is simply REMEMBERING to do it until you internalize it and it becomes second nature. So tie a string around your finger, or write a note to yourself backwards on your forehead so you can read it when you look in the mirror. It’s THAT important. Implement it into your LIFE!
5. Lift Your Chest
In this interview, Patty Contenta also talked about ANOTHER “goldmine” move that is easy to learn and will improve your body language INSTANTLY.
A while ago I was fortunate to have a gentleman write in to me that happened to coach professional musicians and singers. He shared with me a secret used by professional singers to powerfully amplify their voices to completely fill up a room. As it turns out, you can use this secret to massively and INSTANTLY improve your body language. Patty Contenta tells David D, ” I really wish I would have thought of this one… that secret is to “lift” your chest.”
When you lift your chest towards the sky, it practically forces you to align your body into a powerfully masculine position. You can do this whether you’re sitting, standing, or walking. In fact, this really is an instant cure that you can use anytime you aren’t sure of how to position yourself.
Since this gentleman first shared this technique with me, I’ve personally incorporated it into everything I do, and it’s a proven winner. I can tell you from experience that when you are learning how to be successful with women, there are very few “quick fixes”. In 99% of cases, simply learning a great “pick up line” or technique will get you nowhere. Well, this is one of those VERY RARE exceptions. Use it!
6. Make Her Earn It
When most guys are around women, they make the big mistake of physically “leaning in”. This subtly communicates to a woman that you want her… and that SHE—not YOU—is in charge. According to Patty Contenta, this is an ATTRACTION KILLER.
TOTALLY not good.
It’s FAR more effective to lean back a bit and make her come to you. This accomplishes three VERY important things:
1. It makes her feel comfortable with talking to you because you are not crowding into her personal space.
2. It completely separates you from every other guy she’s met, and let’s her know RIGHT AWAY that there is something different about you.
3. It creates a HUGE challenge by subtly forcing HER to come to YOU… and sets up the frame that YOU are the selector and SHE is the pursuer right from the start.
The same holds true in how you orient the way you are facing when talking to a woman. If you immediately turn to face her while she is facing even slightly away, then YOU are framed as the pursuer. On the other hand, if you approach her WITHOUT facing her directly, and let her be the one to position her body towards you, it says all the right things, and starts the interaction off right.
Patty Contenta indicates these two things are the secrets every “natural” uses to have woman chasing him from the start. Start paying very close attention to this stuff when you’re interacting with women. It will be second nature for you before you know it.
7. Show Her That You Are Sexually Aware
If you can master the subtle ways to show a woman that you are sexually aware and experienced WITHOUT saying anything, women will become turned on simply by being around you. One of the biggest indicators women use to size up a man’s sexual experience is the way he touches HIMSELF.
Here are a few things you can do to let a woman know that you know exactly what you’re doing:
1. Every once in awhile, briefly caress your own chest or neck as you are talking to her
2. If you find yourself talking to a woman and you are both sitting down, rest one hand on your inner thigh near (but not touching) your crotch
3. Look intensely in her eyes, and then look away
4. Eliminate all “fidgety” movements and nervous “ticks”
Learning sexual body language might be the simplest thing you can do to improve your ability to make women feel attraction for you.
It’s also one of the most important. This is one of few “easy fixes” that will get you huge results. Like I mentioned before, the only hard part here is REMEMBERING what to do and making a conscious effort to do it.
According to Patty Contenta, you need to make a commitment to yourself right now that you will take the time and effort it takes to master this skill. Listen to Patty Contenta’s interview over and over again until every word is burned into your brain. There is a TON of terrific and HIGHLY IMPORTANT subtle points in there, and when you master all of them, you’ll be amazed at just how powerfully women respond to you.
And I’ll talk to you again soon.
Your Friend,
David D.