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The First Step to Attracting Women According to David DeAngelo

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What most men want out of a dating experience, according to David DeAngelo of Double Your Dating, is to attract women instead of chasing after women.  Its kind of like marketing – it’s a lot easier if you are a car salesman to sell a car to someone that comes onto your lot looking for one than it is to call someone up out of the yellow pages and try to get them to buy a car.  It just doesn’t work.  Dating and attraction work much the same way – it’s a lot easier to hook up with a girl when she is coming on to you than to try to create attraction for a girl you see and randomly find attractive.

One of the things David DeAngelo talks about all the time in the Double Your Dating series is that women are attracted to men for certain reasons (and these are really reasons beyond their control).  Figure out these reasons and meet them, and you trigger a specific internal sequence in a woman, which is related to a primordial mating sequence that we are pre-programmed to have as human beings.

One of the ways to trigger this sequence is to be attractive to a woman in a “different” way.  David DeAngelo calls this being “Different in a preferential way” (Double Your Dating, p 48).   So a great way to formulate attraction and to have the women attracted to YOU and trying to vie for YOUR attention is to understand what the elements of attraction actually are.

One of the key elements to attraction for a woman is the element of masculinity (you can read about the others in the Double Your Dating eBook in depth).  What masculinity is not: dumb jock bullying other people weaker than himself around.  Masculinity is NOT treating women like objects.  Masculinity is not bullying or being obnoxious.

Masculinity IS, however, a quiet confidence.  It is an aura about you of INTERNAL power that tells a woman you are capable and adept.  A masculine man will look people in the eye, have a firm handshake, be able to take a joke with aplomb, and be able to provide for himself and those dependent on him.
There is a lot of talk about being the “alpha male”.  Many men misconstrue that, and believe this means you have to be the ringleader like Biff on Back to the Future, picking on Marty to look cool.  No.  What it means is that you are the provider, you are the protector, you are the one RESPONSIBLE for your group.  Women can SENSE this in a man, because this used to be what determined the primordial mating sequence we talking about earlier.  Some evolutionary responses may take a backseat in modern times, but have NO doubt, my friend, they are STILL there.

So take a close look at your life and your interactions.  Think about what David DeAngelo says about being different in a “preferential” way.  Learn how to take the confidence and the lifestyle of the TRUE alpha male and apply it to your life, and watch how your interactions with women start to change in a positive way.

You Want to Please Her? Then Tease Her!

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If you meet more women, you get more experience, you get more confidence, you get laid more, and more options open up to you. If you date only a few women, you tend to cling on to each as if she was your saving grace.

So let’s start developing some EXERCISES that will get you on the track to understanding how to meet women at any time and any place. All you need to do is open your eyes and set aside a couple minutes to speak with her, if that. This is going to work ANYWHERE you see a woman, and it doesn’t require you to memorize a list if openers, scenarios or anything else.

Teasing a woman, (like using David Deangelo’s Cocky Comedy) works because it short-circuits her usual reserve about talking to or meeting guys she does not know.  Most women have this “wall” and don’t even know it – it seems to be pre-programmed from birth. Then, when a guy approaches her, for any reason, she assumes you’re picking up on her. It’s what she’s gotten used to.

You have 3 seconds from seeing a girl to when you meet her and say something to spike her interest. If you wait – she has time to turn away, move herself, do anything she can to escape from the uncomfortable situation of being hit on again.

In that 3 seconds, you do this:

Look her over, and spot something about her appearance that you can comment on. Start with her shoes, and work your way up. DO NOT choose a physical body trait (like big earlobes, bubble-butt, giant breasts) to comment on. Especially not her overall attractiveness.

You find ONE thing that you can key off of and say something about that will give you and inroad. This is your ANCHOR. Once you’ve found it, you comment on it to her and smile at her, making strong eye contact.

Example: She’s got bright red shoes on. “Wow, those are … interesting shoes. My sister might like a pair like that. Where’d you get them…?”

Example: She’s got a black denim dress on. “My sister likes dresses like that. Where’d you get it…?”

(If you don’t have a sister, use ‘Aunt’ or ‘Cousin.’ You shouldn’t have to lie.)

She’ll say something like, “Oh, I got it at Macy’s” or something like that. You then nod your head and look at it for a second, as if you can’t make up your mind about it. At no time do you ever throw out the usual nauseating male flattery approaches, like “Oh, that dress goes so PERFECTLY with your cheekbones.” (There is a time and a place for flattery, and it’s NOT in an improvised meeting like this.)

Flattery is the scream for approval of the desperate guy. It’s like cotton candy – sweet for a split second, but disappears almost immediately. You want to dangle the PROMISE in front of her first.

You *almost* convey a look of inconvenience, that you went out of your way to comment on her alligator-skin shoes, or her denim skirt. The less she thinks you approached her out of sexual interest, the lower her guard is.

Don’t be insulting! Just be mysterious and ambiguous.

(Her next mental question is: “Gee, I wonder if he likes my dress? He didn’t say.” )

From here, you will bridge into the Tease portion of the conversation, and we’ll cover that in the next post. All there really is left to do is to keep her engaged in the conversation for just a minute or two, show some confidence, and walk away with her phone number.

Now, the typical question I get is “What if there’s nothing out of the ordinary about her?”

Simple: You make something up. There is ALWAYS something you can find when you look, and if it’s not readily apparent, you make it up. If she’s got clothes on you can find something to pick out. I recommend looking for jewelry, because every woman takes a lot of thought in selecting her jewelry.

For especially attractive women, you need to come on a bit differently, and it pays to use a combination of the negative-hit with this. I even recommend that when you get used to this technique, you use it exclusively on the hotties. When you’re comfortable with it, it makes more impact.

You say just one thing, and it’s so easy you’ll have a tough time forgetting it:

“Your dress/shoes/blouse/jacket/purse (whatever) caught my eye. I like the style, but I think you should try it in black, instead. You’d look better with it in black instead of gray.” (Choose the color accordingly.) You nod your head, again meeting her eyes full-on.

Her head will suddenly spin … “But… but… all the other guys said I looked like a fashion model with this on… What do you mean?”

By using these approaches, you’ve just flipped her trust switch in her head. You see, she starts out needing to find a reason to be interested and trust YOU – or she quickly categorizes you as a friend (FRIEND = non-lover, a woman you won’t be able to sleep with). If you just start talking to her neutrally, she’s wondering, “Is he safe?” For all she knows, you’re a nut-case looking to pull her into a multi-level marketing scheme. NOW, all of a sudden, she is suddenly told (by your words and actions) that you might not be so interested. You’re different – i.e., INTERESTING to her.

For the first week or so, if you’re feeling a bit nervous about approaching women, work your way into this slowly. Just use the intro line I gave you, and take it wherever you need. Hell, I’d even recommend you ONLY ask her the first part (“Where’d you get xxxx, my sister might like that …”), then say “thanks” and walk away. Get used to just chatting up anyone and everyone you meet. Take the pressure off for the first week or two, until you get used to the fact that WOMEN AREN’T GOING TO REJECT YOU LIKE YOU THINK THEY WILL.

You don’t need anything fancy or clever. You don’t need anything special to comment on. You just take WHATEVER she is wearing or holding and comment on it AS IF IT WERE different or interesting. Then, by virtue of following it up with a quick tease, you get her mind off her initial defense (IS HE SAFE?) and on to validating herself a little to you. This is the primary psychological underpinning of the whole “TEASE TO PLEASE” method. And I just gave it to you in a simple, workable format.

What most guys will do is to spend all their energy trying to climb over her initial trust hurdle, when they really need to focus on getting her to flip that switch in her head by making HER the one to present herself to you. (This will be more apparent when I explain the Tease portion in our next installment.)

Most guys will take any approach and shoot it down and find everything they can about what’s WRONG with it before they will go out and use it and make it work. My advice to you is to prove it won’t before you even think about coming back to me with a rebuttal. I know that I’ll get scads of letters asking me what to do in X situation or Y situation, because they’re ‘different’ somehow, but it makes NO difference. You only have to spot one anchor on her to comment about. I use it all the time, and it is very effective.

Just remember to keep things light and humorous, and never to insult.

ANYTHING can work, if you just use it in the right way. I just gave you the first half of a technique that works ANYWHERE, ANYTIME. On ANY woman. The best part about it is that it is simple, universal, and effective. All you have to do is to find your target, find an anchor, and start your Tease … (but only to please…)

In the next post, I will cover more tips for approaching women by Carlos Xuma.  I will cover many other focused approaches that you can use as well, from meeting her online, or at a dance class, or at a bookstore, or even Wal-Mart. You’ll also get the complete breakdown of the psychology to the close for the phone number. I’ll tell you where and when to use flattery, and how to mine the rich ore of women you see every day. There’s nothing you won’t know about meeting ANY woman ANYtime, ANYwhere. (I’ll even tell you what the single underlying reason is for a woman’s defense for all men that approach her, and how to bypass it.)

Now, get out there and start getting in the game. You play it from the comfort of the stands.

Stay tuned! It’s going to get good…
I’ll have the last half of this method to you soon.

Are YOU Man Enough to Take a Chance?

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Gambling can be fun at times – playing Poker, betting on horses or football games or even in physical situations like skiing.  Most men, however, don’t particularly like to gamble when it comes to approaching women.  I mean, it’s easier to lose a few bucks to a pal than to lose face when a woman rejects you, right?

Naturally, this leads to guys wanting to figure out a way to meet women that involves no risk.  Well, you can always have your buddies pre-screen every woman you want to walk up to and say hi.  They could interview her!  “Hey – my friend over there wants to know if you are interested in him.”  OR – you could do like I did the first time I ever wanted to ask a girl out.  I sent her a note that said, “Will you be my girlfriend?  Check one.  Yes   No”.

Give me a break, it was 6th grade!

Ok, so maybe those ideas aren’t so great.  In fact, they are downright wussie.  It’s easy to see that, though, when you are reading it in black and white.

My point is, there is no way to meet a woman without taking some risks.  Trying to do so creates a mentality of “average-ness”.  Being average is NOT attractive to women.  Women want a guy who can create attraction for them, and that means being a strong, confident, powerful man comfortable in your own skin.

There are two things you can do to minimize the impact of rejection.  One thing is to use a little Cocky Comedy.  The other thing is to not take rejection so seriously.

Cocky Comedy is a technique for meeting women developed by David Deangelo.   What is it?  Cocky Comedy is technique for meeting women that uses humor that not only elevates attraction but establishes you as the alpha male.  What you do is you start busting on her from the minute you meet.  Joke with her, bust on her, keep her on her toes – and this will create attraction for her.

For example, tell her that you noticed she is nursing that drink like a 2 day old baby.  Or tell her she is going to have to work harder than that to get your attention.  Bust on her clothes, her height (NEVER HER WEIGHT!!!) her shoes, her laugh – whatever comes to mind.  Make it witty.  And after that, you give her a sign using body language that shows her you are interested in her.

So you get it?  You bust on her verbally – then with your body language tell her you are attracted to her.  It works like a charm.

Now – there is always risk involved.  What if you go too far and piss her off?  It’s the end of the world!!  Or not.  I, personally, choose the “not” option.  Remember – YOU are TOTALLY in charge of how things affect you.  Does it bruise my ego when a hot woman rejects me?  No – because I CHOOSE to move on and not even think about it again, because it does not matter.  She was probably a freak anyway!

Do You Have Approach Anxiety? Read This!

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While most men have trouble approaching women, some have it worse than others. No matter how many times these guys rehearse lines in their heads, when faced with a woman they find themselves tongue-tied, sweaty-palmed, and unable to even make eye contact. If this describes you, then you really need to take a moment to absorb some of David Deangelo’s dating tips for guys.

You see, you can rehearse lines and act out scenarios in your head all day long, but this won’t cure your inability to approach women. The problem is that you need to work on your Inner Game. This is the crown jewel in David Deangelo’s advice for guys, and it is all about getting you to believe that you are capable of not only approaching, but also getting dates with beautiful, unapproachable women.

The Deep Inner Game is not about the women you want to date, it is about you. Before you even start memorizing pick-up lines, you need to get your head in the right place, and start believing in yourself. You need to begin by letting go of every negative experience you have ever had trying to pick up women. If you walk up to a woman with a killer pick-up line, but a defeatist attitude, you will never get anywhere! Women are not interested in guys with low self-esteem. Women love confidence, energy, and man who make them laugh.

When you approach a woman, you must convince yourself that she is very attracted to you, that she can’t wait to get your number, and that you are approaching her because she was looking at you. It isn’t necessary for you to actually feel this way- you basically are going to fake it until you have convinced yourself that it is true. Approach her as though you know that you will be going home with her number, and you just might.

You should adopt an alpha-male posture: shoulders back, easy smile, and full eye contact. Don’t overdo it!  When approaching women, flash a nice smile and make a positive comment that will get things going on the right track. Don’t compliment her, just  reflect on how great the DJ is, what a beautiful night it is, and so on.

Like anything else in life, approaching women takes practice. You will never get good at this unless you practice a lot. Part of practice means dealing with rejection, and this is something you simply have to accept beforehand. The good news is that the more you deal with rejection, the easier it gets, and the less frequent it becomes. As you practice your approach, your body language will actually begin to reflect your confidence and comfort, and it will make you irresistible to women. But don’t take it from me, get out there and see for yourself!

What It Takes To Meet Women Online – Knowing Is Half The Battle!

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What It Takes To Meet Women Online – Knowing Is Half The Battle!

A lot of men think that meeting women online is easy – I mean, there are millions of women looking for online dating services, so it should be like fishing in a bucket, right? Well, actually, no that is not right. The world of online dating is actually very competitive – and in order to get anywhere, you have to really learn the ins and outs of the game.

The first thing you will have to do is put up a profile. Make it totally honest – don’t put your picture up from 5 years ago before you gained 30 pounds. THEN, instead of telling her about you r personality using WAY overused boring CRAP, let’s try to be a bit different, shall we?

Instead – tell a story about yourself that exemplifies your personality. Tell her about the time you went hiking in the mountains, and what you saw, experienced and felt. Tell her what it made you feel and try to show the reader through example what is important to you, what you love, cherish and want. Tell a story that shows your sense of humor or your ability to take care of things for other people. The main thing is – you need to show her (by HER, I mean the girls that will be checking out your profile) that you are intelligent, fun and ATTRACTIVE.

By the way, do you know what actually attracts girls ? I’ll give you a hint – it’s not your pearly whites or your 6 pack abs. Did you know that girls are not attracted to men because of their looks? Really. I mean, sure – girls notice and are attracted to hot guys. BUT no matter what you look like, you can spark really intense attraction for a woman by making her FEEL a certain way. She wants a man who will make her feel like she is safe and protected, and like YOU can handle any situation in a cool and yet thoroughly masculine way.

So these are things you need to show off in your dating website profile. I have been researching this a lot lately – and I learned SO much by watching David Deangelo’s program, meeting women online. It’s a really in depth program and you should go check it out. (I use some of the email templates in there and they REALLY do work).

Anyway – another thing about your profile, or any email you write to a girl – NO WINKS! Don’t send those little nudges to a woman and then wait for her to write back or wink back at you or whatever. Get the nards to make your approach first, whether it be online or in the real world. Don’t even send smileys in an email – that’s just …feminine. Don’t do it.

What you DO want to do when meeting women online is to make her laugh. Be witty and funny – something David Deangelo calls “Cocky Comedy”. What it is – is using humor to spark attraction. You bust on her about the little things, like telling her that her picture is cheesy or she needs to learn how to write a profile – and challenge her. Make her want to prove something to you.

Learning different techniques like this will greatly improve your success rate in dating online. There are a lot of other men out there that you are in competition with, even if only by sheer VOLUME of the other men out there. Make an impression on her and get the girl before anyone even knew she was there – using your own LEARNING and whit – and learning to spark attraction in women.