In order to be more successful with women and dating, a man must first learn to understand (as best he can) the inner workings of the female mind – what motivates women, what they need and want, how they think and how they feel. All these things, according to Double Your Dating author David DeAngelo, are critical to creating your own success with women.
One of the first mistakes that men often make in trying to get a girlfriend is that they assume that they know how a woman thinks because they assume that women think similarly to men. And no – I am not being sarcastic or dogging on women here – but the truth is that just as our physical bodies are different, our emotional and logical make-up is different as well.
What women want, according to David DeAngelo, may make no sense to us as men at all. He says in Double Your Dating, “Almost none of what I do to be successful with women makes any sense to me logically, because I’m not a woman. But now that I see that what I do works over and over again, I realize that it doesn’t matter what makes sense. All that matters is WHAT WORKS” (p 15).
Did you know that it is the female, most of the time, in nature that selects the male? This is one of the reasons that the alpha male concept developed. The female selects the male based on a genetic need to create strong, viable offspring that are one step closer to the penultimate of the species (look up Darwin if you want more on that). And most of the time in the human race, this happens as well. Women are used to being the ones that choose.
But – what if the tables were turned? What if you were the one doing the choosing? Do you think that would give a woman a different experience? A new feeling?
Maybe it would make you … stand out a little?
Well duh. Ya.
“Sooooooo…. It’s good to address this issue and point out when talking to women (even if you hint at it and talk about past experiences to make the point) that you are the selector and not the selectee. This kind of thing is very powerful, as it does one of my favorite things: It points out something to the woman that she’s most likely NEVER HEARD FROM A MAN IN HER ENTIFE LIFE. I specialize in saying things that women have never heard. I also like to say things that she’s never heard that MAKE ME DIFFERENT IN A DESIRABLE WAY” (David DeAngelo, Double Your Dating, p 16).
You can even SAY IT to a woman – tell her that you are going to tell her something about herself that no one has ever told her – it will get her attention and interest right up. And if what you tell her is profound enough – she is going to start to see you as the kind of man she needs to compete for. (And if you are sitting there thinking “But what do I SAY??” do some research! Look up interesting facts about the human psyche, the body, the mind – get some KNOWLEDGE on my friend!)
To me, this kind of philosophy is different than what a lot of the “dating gurus” teach. Many just teach you how to pick up women. That’s not the point here. The point is – you probably want a girlfriend, right? Or maybe eventually a wife or partner in your life? Well, this is the way to get your foot in the door and start meeting some women and getting some CHOICES. And by going about it from an intellectual standpoint, you can enrich HER life as well as your own. That’s a win for both of you.
Here is a GREAT example that David D gives in the Double Your Dating ebook…
One good example is to say to a hot woman who’s acting arrogant, “You don’t have me fooled for a minute, dear.” When she says, “What are you talking about?”, you say, “Well, I know that most men fall for this ‘I’m beautiful and aloof and I get my way’ part of your personality… but I know something that none of them know… that there’s really another side of you. A side that none of THEM get to see. I’ll bet you a dollar right now that I know something about you that no one who’s only known you for 5 minutes has EVER known… <pause pause pause>… You may act tough, but you’re actually EXTREMELY sensitive on the inside. If someone makes a negative comment to you, you might act like it doesn’t bother you… but you’ll think about it all the way home…I know that secretly you’re as sensitive as a little girl…it’s just that most people never get to meet that part of you…(p 16).
This will throw her off balance and let her know that you are keen and observant, as well as much deeper than most of the dumb jocks throwing back Budweisers at the bar. But don’t stop there – keep talking to her and drop a bit more knowledge on her and see how she responds. Chances are she will be chasing YOU by the end of the night.